For Love of the Sea
by Arda's Angel
Summary: A lieutenant in the navy dies at sea and finds herself aboard the infamous Flying Dutchman. She struggles to come to terms with her death and finds a companion in the grieving captain of the vessel.
1. Prologue

**For Love of the Sea**

Category: Pirates of the Caribbean

Rating: T

Pairings: WillOC

Warnings: Post AWE so lots of spoilers. No Elizabeth bashing.

Summary: A lieutenant in the navy is dies at sea and finds herself aboard the infamous Flying Dutchman. She struggles to come to terms with her death and finds a companion in the grieving captain of the vessel.

Disclaimer: I own nothing but my character. PotC belongs to Disney. And, sadly, so does Will.

**Prologue**

My name is LT Maribel Knowles. I have been in the navy for about 5 years now. I have reason to believe that my service with the navy is at its end. Earlier today, while leading a dive reconnaissance mission off the coast of Maui, Hawaii, I think I died. The cave we meant to recon for future possible use collapsed. Most of my team was still outside so I believe they survived. Of the small detail who entered the cave, 3 out of our 5 ended up here, aboard the notorious Flying Dutchman.

After the cave in, I knew of nothing until I felt the sun on my face and opened my eyes to meet a pair of deep brown ones. "LT Maribel Knowles, do you fear death?"


	2. Do You Fear Death?

**Chapter 1: Do You Fear Death?**

As I opened my eyes, my first thoughts went to my crew. My head swam and I turned away from the voice, only to find 2 other members of my crew staring back at me. I struggled to sit up, wincing at the throbbing headache which beat more ferociously with every movement. My hand went to shield my eyes from the sun as I gazed into the haunted face of my squad leader, SGT Carlyle Gyps. He held out his hand, and as I took it, gave me a sad smile. "I am so sorry," I whispered.

He gave a small shrug. "It was bound to happen one of these days. It wasn't your fault ma'am."

I slowly got to my feet, hissing when my head gave a particularly painful throb. "Yes it was. I should never have allowed a full team into the cave. I should have take the measurements inside without endangering you. I should ----"

"Permission to speak freely, ma'am?"

"I'm going to ignore that you just interrupted me. Very well. Speak."

"With all due respect LT, there were no more precautions to be taken. You did exactly what needed to be done. And none of us would ever have allowed you inside alone. Truthfully ma'am, there was no way of knowing or preventing it. And this is an honorable discharge in my eyes. I wouldn't have wanted to go 60 years from now as an old man in my bed. This was meant to be ma'am." He turned and gestured to the man standing next to us. The man with the brown eyes.

I turned and my eyes widened. The man before me was tall, tanned, and had a kind but sad face. His curly black hair was loose beneath his bandanna and he was dressed in what appeared to be a very elaborate 18th century pirate's garb. Dark brown boots over black trousers led up to a white, open necked shirt which exposed a fair portion of the man's chest. A long, jagged scar glared out from the left side of his chest. A worn leather coat completed the outfit. I quickly schooled my features back into a neutral expression, ensuring a composed, confident appearance.

"LT Maribel Knowles."

Though his voice was gentle, I felt the power and authority in his very presence.

I snapped to attention. "Yes sir."

The man smiled briefly and waved his hand. "That will not be necessary LT. Please, stand at ease."

I allowed myself to relax slightly, easing my hands from my sides and resting them at the small of my back in a modified parade rest. "Aye sir."

The man's eyes flickered over me, making me realize that I was still in the wetsuit I had worn on the dive. I continued to stare straight ahead, willing myself not to shiver as I waited for the man to do or say something.

"Do you fear death, lieutenant?"

"Sir?" His question confused me. "Permission to ask a question sir?"

He nodded, "Of course."

"Aren't I already dead, sir?"

Brown eyes flickered again and the man inclined his head. "Yes, but you have not yet passed on to the next world. You are no longer a part of your world, but neither do you belong in the land of the dead. Do you fear to pass on, LT Knowles?"

I paused a moment. Did I fear death? I swallowed. I was still far too attached to the land of the living. I was forever trying to push the limits, to live as much as possible. I looked straight at the man and, calling upon my last energy reserves and quelling my pride, I nodded. "Yes sir."

He nodded. "Very well. I have never yet had a woman on board but, should you wish to remain as part of the crew, you may. Welcome aboard the Flying Dutchman, Miss Knowles. "

Hope you liked it… please r/r if you have the time


	3. Welcome Aboard

**Chapter 2: Welcome Aboard**

I blinked. "Aboard, sir?"

But the man had moved on to my crew. "Sergeant Carlyle Gyps, do you fear death?"

Gyps raised his head and gazed through his shattered glasses at the man. A shudder passed through him and he swallowed hard.

For all his talk about expecting it, SGT Gyps did not appear the cool, collected man I knew.

"Yes, sir."

The man considered him for a moment before offering his hand. "Welcome aboard."

Gyps shook the proffered hand and moved to stand closer to me. I gave him what I hoped was a reassuring smile.

"Seaman Gary Tyson, do you fear death?"

Out of our combined navy/marine corps task force, only Tyson and myself were from the navy. Tyson was a large, dark man with a serious but calm air about him. He gave the man a measured stare, slowly shaking his head. In his slow, steady voice, he responded "no sir."

The man nodded. "Very well. We will now begin our journey to the land of the dead, where you shall be allowed to go ashore. Until then, you will be a guest on my ship, along with all others who seek the peace of the other side."

Tyson gave a nod. "Thank you sir."

The man turned to address the three of us. "You are now aboard the Flying Dutchman. LT Knowles, I will allow you to keep your rank but know that I expect only the very best from my officers at all times. SGT Gyps, I assume you are special ops?"

Gyps snapped to attention. "Special operations and navigation sir."

The man cocked his head. "Navigation? Well then SGT, I request your presence at the helm as navigator from now on. Mr. Turner will show you to your bunk and help you settle in before you assume your post. LT Knowles, as there are no separate facilities aboard for a female crew member, I will allow you use of my private head and the guest quarters. You will follow me and fulfill the duties of second mate to Mr. Turner. Is that understood?"

Gyps and I snapped salutes. "Yes sir!"

Surprisingly, the man returned the salute before cutting it sharply. "Very well. Mr. Turner," he turned to an older man with long, stringy, black hair and a pale complexion, "Please escort SGT Gyps around the ship, show him his bunk, and brief him on the duties of a navigator on the Dutchman. Then see that he is introduced to Jimmy and report back here to deal with your new charge, LT Knowles."

The man, Mr. Turner, smiled. "Aye Captain Turner."

As he motioned for Gyps to follow, I noticed a distinct resemblance between him and the man, presumably the captain. I spoke up, "Sir, permission to ask a question?"

The man raised an eyebrow. "Yes?"

"If we have a need to address you sir, what should we call you?" I struggled to keep the curiosity out of my voice. I focused on a spot on the man's bandanna as he approached.

"It appears I have been remiss in my manners. I am Captain William Turner. I am to be addressed as sir or Captain while in a professional setting. I may decide to drop the formality as circumstance dictates so be prepared for that. Is that all?"

I gave a curt nod as I tried to ignore the smile in his voice. "Yes sir. For now, sir."

Just a bit of info: a head is a bathroom on a ship.

Hope you liked it, please r/r if you have the time


	4. Getting Settled

**Chapter 3: Getting Settled**

Captain Turner allowed a small smile to flit across his (rather handsome) features before nodding to Mr. Turner, "assume your command. LT, you follow me."

As I turned to go, I nodded to Gyps, "See you around, soldier."

He flashed a quick grin. "Suppertime work for you, ma'am?"

I chuckled. "Wouldn't miss it for the world."

Captain Turner stopped and faced us. "Actually, would you do me the honor of dining in my quarters this evening? I would very much like to talk to both of you."

I inclined my head. "Captain, we accept your generous offer. Is there a dress code?" The words were out of my mouth before I realized that all I had was the wetsuit I was currently wearing. Before I could stop it, my mind wondered if I would be stuck in the wetsuit for eternity.

"No, LT. You will not be wearing that wetsuit for eternity unless you want to. I will provide proper attire for dinner as well as for your duties aboard ship. Now if you will please follow me…?"

I blushed. "My apologies sir."

He motioned and I fell swiftly into step behind him. We moved quickly over the deck and down a flight of stairs into the passageway. For all of the weeds and barnacles clinging to the outer hull of the Dutchman, the interior was surprisingly clean and modern. The living quarters had actual beds in some places in lieu of the ancient hammocks and there were doors leading to the different rooms below deck. I admitted to myself that the situation was far better than I had expected. We passed through the crew quarters while as Captain Turner oriented me to the ship and her history.

"And as far as I know, I am the second captain of the Dutchman, after the infamous Davy Jones," Turner finished. He pointed to a door on the aft starboard side. "That door leads to my private study and living area. If there is ever an occasion in which I am not on deck, I will be there. The room across the passageway is the guest area, where you will be lodging. The two spaces share a private head. Understood?"

I nodded. "Thank you for being so accommodating, Captain. I apologize for the inconvenience."

He shrugged his shoulders, upsetting his shirt and exposing the angry, white scar that ran along the left side of his chest. I wondered, briefly, if it still hurt him.

The captain opened the door to the guest room and guided me inside with a gentle arm at my back. "There is a full wardrobe of female clothing," he indicated a deeply colored walnut wood chest in the corner of the room. "The clothing is practical to crew life aboard the ship; although I'm afraid it is rather antiquated. I've never had a need for it before now."

I smiled slightly. "I'm sure I can manage, sir. I really do appreciate everything, sir. What should I wear for dinner, sir?"

The captain gave a small shrug. "Dinner should be a comfortable affair, nothing formal. Change and report to the top deck for orders as soon as possible."

"Aye sir." I snapped to attention and waited until the captain left before letting out a breath I didn't know I'd been holding. I moved to the bureau and began to shift through the clothing. Very quickly I discovered that it was created for a much taller woman and would need to be altered to fit properly. I rummaged until I found a tunic and trousers that appeared to be from Singapore; they were finely woven and sported traditional dragon patterns along the outside right side of the trousers and on up through the tunic. I dug until I found a sash in a coordinating shade of blue to match the grey of the outfit and changed quickly. A further search revealed a bottom compartment of shoes, with a few in my size. A pair of black boots in soft leather fit perfectly, even if they didn't exactly match the rest of the outfit.

I turned to the door and, assuming that it lead to the head, opened it. I was right. After a quick double take, I stepped into a head far too modern to belong aboard such an old ship. The toilet, sink, bathtub, and shower were of modern porcelain, complete with running water. I stared for a few moments before moving to the mirror above the sink to check my hair. It was still in its regulation approved bun, the bobby pins barely able to maintain it. I ran some water over it, trying almost without success to wash out some of the debris from the cave in. Deciding that I had spent more than enough time attempting to remedy my appearance, I moved back into my new room and replaced the clothes in their proper drawers before heading back towards the stairs.

The captain met me as soon as I set foot on deck and waved to Mr. Turner. "Mr. Turner will give you a brief summary of our job on this ship and your duties, and then he will escort you, Mr. Gyps, and Mr. Tyson to my quarters for dinner. "

I snapped a salute, which was laughingly returned. "Yes sir."

Captain Turner moved to go, and then turned around, a smile on his young face. "LT, you will find that not everything on board this ship requires the protocol you are so accustomed to. A simple 'yes sir' will suffice in lieu of a salute in most cases. Use your judgment. Mr. Turner, you have half an hour."

"Aye Captain." The older first mate stepped in and motioned to me. "Guess we'd best get started then, right miss?"


	5. Getting Acquanted

**Chapter 4: Getting Acquainted**

I smiled as Mr. Turner began to guide me away from the captain. "Aye sir."

Turner shook his head, black strings of hair flying. "I'm no sir. You can call me Bootstrap or Bootstrap Bill. And you are LT Knowles?"

I shrugged. "I was. I'm not quite sure what I am at the moment but you can call me Maribel or any permutation of that."

He nodded. "Alright. So because you're my charge, we're going to make sure that you can efficiently run the entire ship. Got that 'Bel?"

I stopped short. "What do you mean run the whole ship? Isn't that the captain's job?"

Bootstrap laughed at my shock, then sobered up considerably. "It is. But there are times when the captain is unable to oversee everything at once and needs help. Of course he won't ask for it, which is why we need to be able to understand everything that occurs and be able to manage it when he cannot. He is a strong man, Maribel, but he is still only a man."

"You care for him a great deal, don't you Bootstrap?" I shot my hand over my mouth and felt my face flush. "I am so sorry. I didn't mean to say that." I mentally berated myself for the momentary loss of bearing and control.

Bootstrap just smiled and nodded. "Don't worry. Yes, I do care for him. He's my son."

My eyes widened. "That's why you look so much alike."

"We do? He's got his mother's eyes. But come, I'm to brief you on the ship." He pointed to the aft deck. "Over there's the wheel and navigation set up. We also have a navigator or two in the crow's nest on occasion. I assume you already know your way around the basic parts of a ship?"

I nodded. "A little. I have to admit, my only real sailing experience was with sail team in college. The ships I have served on have all been motor, not wind, powered."

Bootstrap nodded. "So I have to teach you from scratch?"

I winced. "I like to think that I know a little. Diving and recon were my specialties but I can always change that."

He cocked his head. "Why would you want to change that? Why not just add on?"

I shrugged one shoulder. "I doubt the Dutchman has a need for a dive recon specialist. Especially since the cargo seems to find the ship on its own."

He nodded and began moving. "Very true. But diversity is a large part of our crew, one in which William takes great pride. He enjoys hearing stories and listening to the different lifestyles and ways of the world. I think it keeps him connected to it, in a way."

I turned the statement over in my head, trying to find some hidden angle that Bootstrap was trying impress upon me. He seemed the type to speak in riddles just to watch you grow as you figure it out. I quickly came upon and unfamiliar name. "William?"

Bootstrap stopped short. "Did I say William? I meant Captain Turner. He lets me call him William in private, very kind of him. He gave up everything for me, you know?"

I turned to face him and looked him squarely in the face. "No. Permission to speak freely?" I recovered my protocol. At Bootstrap's chuckle, I continued. "That doesn't really surprise me. The captain seems like he is a very good man, if a little serious to the point of melancholy."

Bootstrap laughed. "That sums him up pretty well. Perhaps after dinner I could finish the orientation as it has been half an hour."

I nodded. "Thank you Bootstrap. Do you know where I could find SGT Gyps and Seaman Tyson?"

He nodded. "I can do you one better. I will escort all three of you to the Captain's quarters."

"Great! Thank you." I followed as he moved up the stairs towards the wheel. I noticed Gyps working with a burly looking sailor who held a very large, outdated map. As we approached, we could hear arguing.

Bootstrap cleared his throat, causing both crewmen to snap to attention. "That will be all for now, Mr. Segrado."

Segrado nodded and moved back to his station, grumbling all the way.

Gyps looked relieved and walked towards us. "Dinner time, ma'am?"

Bootstrap nodded. "Hope you're hungry, boy."


	6. Guilt For Dinner

**Chapter 5: Guilt for Dinner**

I smiled lightly. "SGT Gyps is always hungry."

Gyps crossed his arms. "I am not."

"Well, when he's not behaving like a petulant child, he's hungry."

Bootstrap nodded. "I see. Well, I believe the Captain has a large dinner planned, so not to worry Mr. Gyps." He moved towards the forward stairwell. "I will go fetch your companion. Wait here."

"Aye sir."

He disappeared into the depths of the ship's lower decks, leaving SGT Gyps and myself to gaze out over the vast expanse of the Flying Dutchman and the surrounding seas. No matter how many times I've been stationed on a ship, the grace and power of the surrounding ocean never failed to leave me in awe of her splendor.

I gazed over the ship, amazed that such an old creation was still seaworthy. Then I realized that the Dutchman had no real need to be as tight as one of the ships I was accustomed to as all of her crew and passengers were already dead. That stopped me. _I'm dead. I will never have liberty again. This tour will never end. I will never return home. _I froze and placed a hand to my wrist, trying desperately to find a pulse. There was none.

I looked at Gyps. The man was only about thirty-six to my twenty-eight years. He was married, with a lovely doctor for a wife and two small children, one boy and one girl. In a way, they were the perfect family. Until I screwed up and cost him his life. A pain, deeper than a physical one, shot through my chest. I killed two of the most talented men I had ever met anywhere on this Earth.

A hand on my shoulder jolted me back into reality. The wind off the sea hit my face, and in the wet cold that touched my cheeks, I realized that I had been crying.

"Ma'am?" Gyps left his hand on my shoulder as he turned me to face him. "Are you alright? Perhaps we should ask –"

"No." I cut him off. "Thank you for your concern, SGT, but I will be fine."

He gave an ironic grin, "perhaps a debriefing session is in order?"

I nodded. "You know, I think you're right. After dinner then?"

He nodded. "I believe that would be beneficial to the team, ma'am."

"I believe you're right. But SGT, I'm no longer your officer. My name is Maribel, or some variation thereof."

He nodded. "Then I respectfully request that you call me Carl or Gyps, whichever suits you."

I smiled. "If only our commanding officers could see us now: a first name basis aboard a pirate ship for the dead. They'd be horrified."

"They're probably just as horrified to discover that 3 of their recon people are dead and that they have to shell out on the $400,000 insurance plan. Not to mention the loss of the cave as usable space…"

"Don't be so optimistic. They're probably just pissed that they have to shell out and lose the cave. We're disposable. Otherwise we wouldn't have been on the mission to begin with."

Gyps opened his mouth to argue, then shut it. A sad look came over his face. "But what about the people back home? We weren't 'disposable' to them!"

I winced. "If there was a way for me to get you off of this boat and back home to your family, you know I would do it. For Seaman Tyson too. I never meant to –"

"I hope you kids are hungry." Bootstrap returned, Tyson in tow.

I nodded as Gyps, _Carl_, placed his hand on my shoulder. "I think a debriefing session is in order later, Mr. Tyson."

Tyson swallowed, the only visible sign that he might be in understandable distress. "I believe you may be right, ma'am."

Bootstrap gestured. "We shouldn't leave Will waiting. Follow me."

We stepped down the staircase into the passageway by my new quarters. When we stopped at the Captain's door, Bootstrap knocked in a musical pattern: duh duh duh duh duh…. Duh duh.

"You're on time." The captain opened the door and waved us through. "Mr. Turner, would you like to join us?"

Bootstrap looked shocked for a moment, then shook his head. "No thank you Cap'n. I should stay on deck."

The captain nodded. "As you wish." He then motioned at the table, a long oak piece covered in the scars which marked it as belonging to a ship such as the Dutchman. The room itself was dark and somewhat creepy, its most prominent feature the enormous organ that sat against one wall.

"A memento from my predecessor." He caught me staring at the enormous instrument. "But enough unpleasantness. Please, have a seat." He pulled out the chair to his right and escorted me into it. Gyps sat directly across from me, Tyson to his left. "There's no need to stand on ceremony, nor call to impress anyone. Help yourselves." He gestured to the vast array of platters that adorned the worn table. A plate covered by a suckling pig, complete with apple, sat in the center, surrounded by an assortment of other, less intimidating dishes: roasted beef and chicken, thick stew, whole loaves of fresh bread, and a large bowl of fresh fruit. As I blinked in confusion, the captain pointed to the fruit. "I had my men take the liberty of fetching fresh food for themselves while we were close to the islands. They kindly offered to bring some back for me as well."

"That was thoughtful of them." I responded, waiting for him to make the first advance towards the food. Thankfully, he reached out and pulled the pig towards him. "Would anyone like some? It's quite good. One of the crewmen is Hawaiian, and is a genius in the galley."

Gyps cocked his head. "That sounds interesting sir. I would love to try some, if I may?"

The captain's youthful face lit up. "Of course. I was worried that I would have to do all of the talking myself this evening. I would love to hear about you. I've come to understand and appreciate the different stories everyone has. Really, the only commonality we share is that we are all here. But the how is something else entirely. Mr. Gyps, if you would be so kind?" He placed some of the pig dish on Gyps's plate, then offered some to me. When I shook my head, he turned to Tyson, who accepted graciously. Soon we were all comfortably eating as Gyps began his narrative.

"I'm not quite sure what you want me to say sir, so I guess I'll just start talking. I was born in a small town in New York. Grew up in the lower middle class, not poor but not rich either. I have 2 siblings, an older brother, Joseph, and a younger brother, Philip. Now they have children of their own. Joseph enlisted in the marines when I was a freshman in high school. I always wanted to be like him, so I did the same. After he completed his time, he went to college and became an engineer. I joined and liked it so much I stayed on. While stationed at a hospital in Germany, I came across a lovely young woman was crying. I asked her what was wrong and she said that one of her patients had just died. I asked if I could take her to dinner to cheer her up. She still wasn't happy so I challenged her to a round of bowling on base. When she smiled after royally kicking my ass, I knew she was the girl for me. We got married a year and a half later and have 2 beautiful children, my son Jeremy, and my daughter Isabella. Jeremy will be 10 in September and Isabella just turned 6 in May." His face shone with pride, just talking about his children. Suddenly his face fell. Within a few seconds, he had pulled in and he froze in the standard 'locked' look in which the service member shuts all emotion out of his/her face, eyes staring straight ahead.

I touched the captain's arm to get his attention. When my hand touched him, my fingertips recoiled as if they had hit a live wire. His head jerked, as if he felt the shock too. I swallowed hard. "Sir, if I may speak with you in private?"


	7. Emotional InStabilty

**Chapter 6: Emotional (In)Stability **

He nodded. "Certainly LT." He stood and moved to the doorway. I followed and we stepped through the hall and into my bunk. "If you don't mind, we'll have more privacy here. Is everything alright, LT?"

I locked my eyes on the wall behind him, unable to look into the deep brown eyes that exuded warmth and worry. "Sir, I believe that the rest of the discussion should be saved for a later date, one perhaps, when the pain is not so raw. I know that we have just joined your crew and that you don't know him, but SGT Gyps just fully realized that he will never" I stopped to collect myself and regain my bearing. "He will never see his wife or children again. I can feel the changes in my crew, sir. Please don't make them confront this just yet. They need to do that on their own, when they are ready. Please." I felt my bearing slipping, the spot on the wall blurring as I crumpled to the ground.

Before I hit the deck, I was being held tightly and the captain supported me and guided me to my bed. He sat and pulled me down next to him. "I know how hard this is. Honest, I do. Shhhh. It will get easier, I promise." I wrapped my arms tightly around myself, afraid that if I let go, I would just keep falling into the horrific guilt and anguish that seemed to consume my mind. I felt arms move comfortingly around me and a rough hand gently rub my back. "I know it hurts. The pain will ease." He stopped rubbing my back and tilted me back so that I was looking into his face. "I need to go and dismiss your companions. I would like to then come back and discuss this with you, if you will let me."

I nodded, "Aye, sir."

He released me and I instantly felt the cold where his arms had been. "You will be alright until I return?"

If I hadn't been in such a state, I would have been offended. On some level, I suppose I was. "I will be fine, sir."

He took one more opportunity to stare straight into my eyes, searching for any sign of dishonesty, before getting up and walking out the door. I heard him go next door, followed by the hum of low voices. Finally, the voices stopped and the sound of footsteps told me that the conversation and meal were over.

I continued to sit on my bed, rocking slightly from the shock of my breakdown. But even as I tried to gain some sort of footing on my emotional state, my intellect began to once again reprimand me for the loss of life, at my hands. _You were the officer in charge. You were the one assigned to look out for the crew. Isn't that one of the first things you were taught: a good leader knows their sailors and looks out for their welfare? Because you royally screwed up that one. And now, because of you, there is no going home for SGT Gyps and Seaman Tyson. You are a failure as a leader. You are a failure as a sailor. You are a failure as a member of the Navy. You are a FAILURE… FAILURE… FAILURE… _ The word repeated in my head, refusing to give me a moment's peace. I clutched my head as I shook myself. "No, no, no , no. I didn't mean to hurt anyone. I did everything right!" _Well, apparently not. _"No, no, no."

A callused hand brushed from my forehead to the crown of my head, causing me to look up. The moment my eyes met the captain's chocolate brown ones, I started sobbing again.

He immediately sat next to me and wrapped his hands over mine, gently prying them from my temples. "Are you alright, LT? Do you have a headache? I believe I have some pain medication if you would like some…?"

I shook my head. "I'm fine. I just don't understand it…"

He was quiet for about thirty seconds, which felt like thirty minutes. As he turned my hands over in his, he mused "is it possible that there is another purpose to this fate? Calypso is not always the most transparent of the gods. Her will is usually difficult to decipher."

I attempted a smile. "I've always tried to believe that I control my own fate, and in some cases, the fate of my crew. I just can't get over the guilt of their deaths. My own, I can handle. But it's not fair to them."

He chuckled softly. "And that is precisely why you were the officer. Because you care deeply for the well-being of your crew. But they, in turn, care deeply for you. They are coping. Mr. Gyps and Mr. Tyson have been most understanding. Certainly they both grieve. But neither one has to grieve for the others as well. That is the officer's burden. And, should you need it, I will help you to bear it."

I kept my eyes fixed, unable to meet his concerned gaze. With a nod, I accepted his offer. "Thank you sir."

He gently squeezed my hands. "Of course LT. I hate having my crew unhappy. Are you alright now?"

"Yes. May I see my crewmates?"

He raised an eyebrow. "You want to discuss all of this now? I understand the need for a, what did you call it, 'debriefing,' but I sent them to their racks. Tomorrow, I will see to it that you have time to seek closure with your crew. But do remember, you are now a part of the Dutchman's crew as well."

I nodded. "I apologize, sir. This will not happen again. What time is revelee sir?"

At this, he laughed. "We use plain speech here, LT. Wake up is at dawn, by the last person on night watch. I will allow fifteen minutes for you to dress and be on deck for the plan of the day." He stood.

I stood at attention. "Good night sir."

"Good night, LT."


	8. Embarassed on the Job

**Chapter 7: Embarrassed on the Job**

As soon as the door shut, I went back to the bureau and began to sift through the clothing for pajamas. Anything to ignore the guilt and regain control over my consciousness. As I sorted clothing, I took deep breaths, trying to regulate my breathing and therefore my emotions. It was a lot harder than I thought.

By the third drawer, I was close to giving up and falling into the rack in the tunic I was wearing when I found a large white shirt and pair of loose trousers. "Perfect!"

I slipped into my newly christened PJs and realized that I had no hairbrush, toothbrush, or any toiletries at all for that matter. I pulled out a smaller drawer in the desk. Nothing. I walked over to the head and opened the door.

There, in all his shirtless glory, was Captain Turner. He must have just gotten out of the shower. A towel was wrapped about his waist and he was dripping with water. Even accustomed as I was to shirtless men, I couldn't help but marvel at the captain's near perfect body. As soon as I realized that I was staring, heat rushed to my face. I ducked my head and raised a hand to cover my eyes. "I apologize sir."

He turned and grabbed his towel. "That's alright, lieutenant. Are you alright?" He stepped towards me, worry in his eyes.

I nodded. "Yes sir. I'm fine sir. I was wondering if there was an extra hairbrush and toothbrush around somewhere sir."

"Of course." He pulled out a drawer. "In here you will find amenities necessary for a female." He smiled. "Is that all, LT?"

I swallowed and focused on a spot behind him, so as to avoid acknowledging the short distance between myself and the handsome, barely decent man before me. "Yes sir. Thank you sir."

He nodded and turned, heading back towards his quarters. "Best get some sleep. Dawn comes quickly out here LT."

"Aye sir." I snapped to attention until he laughed and flicked his hand at me, sending tiny droplets of water my way.

"Go on."

I blushed, realizing that he probably still needed to use the head and I was preventing him from doing so. "Aye sir. Good night sir." Spinning on my heel, I tried to make a somewhat dignified exit from a rather embarrassing situation. Which would have worked, except that I tripped on the overly long trousers and wet floor of the head. A rather pathetic face plant ensued, guaranteeing that the captain would revoke my officer status on account of clumsiness.

"Here" he laughed, offering me a hand. "You've had a rough day. Get some rest. Tomorrow will be better."

I took his hand and got up. Letting it go (albeit reluctantly) I nodded, "Yes sir."

* * *

A/n- So I realize not much action takes place in this chapter, but every little bit allows for evolution in the relationship sphere. I promise the next chapters will have more going on. I thought it only fair, (if not manipulative), to tell you that I am uploading this chapter in hopes of recieving reviews. Reviewers will be saluted and given the Chocolate Chip Cookie Medal of Honor. Flames will be used to scare squids at bootcamp. 


	9. You Ain't My Boss

**Chapter 8: You Ain't My Boss**

_Bang bang bang._ "Wake up. Dawn is fast approaching. You're needed on deck."

I groaned and sat up, rubbing my eyes and ignoring the rush of blood that accompanies quick movement. "Coming."

With a speed born of instinct and harsh training that I scarcely remembered possessing, I slipped into a pair of boots from the dresser and raced to the door.

Bootstrap, standing on the other side, grabbed my wrist and led me up to the main deck. "Today, you will be working with me. Our first order of business is to rouse the rest of the crew. You will go and wake the Captain, and then head to the main living quarters. Alright?"

I saluted, "AYE SIR!" Back at the stairwell, I marveled at the swift return of what I like to call 'bootcamp survival skills,' the ability to move and obey an order while still working out the words in your mind. Without remembering how I arrived there, I found myself at the door to the captain's quarters. I blinked, swallowed, knocked, tried to figure out a respectful way to wake a superior officer. "Sir," I called, "Dawn is coming. We need you on deck, sir."

The hatch swung open, revealing a sleep-addled, shirtless, Captain Turner. He rubbed at his eyes, blinked owlishly, then nodded. "Thank you LT. Please inform that early bird bilge rat Mr. Turner that I appreciate his wake up call."

I nodded and turned to leave.

"And LT? You have my permission to tell him what I called him."

I bit back a smile. Things on the _Flying Dutchman_ were much more relaxed than any other ship on which I had ever served. "Aye sir."

I moved to the crew quarters, wincing at the horrific snoring within. "Oy! Wake up! Can't sleep the day away!" I smacked my hand against the hatch. "Up, now! C'mon. If I have to be up this early, then dammit so do you!"

The crewman closest to the hatch, Segrado as luck would have it, opened his eyes, squinted at me, then rolled right back over. "You ain't the boss, girlie. Go to the galley and do something useful like fixin' us real crewmen some chow."

I felt my eyes narrow. "Well gents, if you are all in agreement with Mr. Segrado, then I suppose I shall just have to inform Bootstrap as to why exactly I cannot complete my mission. Good luck to you when he find out."

Segrado just laughed as a single man stepped forward. "Look at that mates. LT Lightweight has a boyfriend. Ain't there laws against fraternization, girlie?"

SGT Gyps snapped a salute. "Good morning ma'am."

I smiled. "Good morning SGT. I am going to inform Mr. Turner of the rather unsettling situation here. You may have a few extra moments before we begin for the day."

"Aye ma'am. Thank you ma'am."

I smiled and nodded at him, before executing a sharp about-face and returning topside. When I approached Bootstrap, I saluted. "Permission to speak, sir."

He shook his head. "Lass, I'm still Bootstrap. You can relax a bit. Er… at ease, I guess."

I allowed myself to assume the 'at ease' position before swallowing hard. "Bootstrap, the men, with the exception of SGT Gyps, refuse to recognize any authority I might have and have so far failed to assume their posts for the day."

Bootstrap frowned slightly. "I see. Very well. Unfurl the forward sheets, or what you can of them, and I will be right back."

"Aye."

"Ma'am. Ma'am! LT KNOWLES!" A voice rang out as I headed forward.

I spun about to come crashing into Sgt Gyps. I growled as my rear hit the deck. "That's quite a tackle you have, Sgt."

He sat opposite me, rubbing the spot on his shoulder which had come into contact with my head. "You're not too bad yourself, ma'am."

I stood and heaved him up before dusting myself off. "So what did you just have to come racing out to tell me Sgt?"

He snapped to attention. "Mr. Turner says to belay his orders. You are to meet him in the crew barracks immediately."

I returned his salute. "Thank you. I will leave the forward sheets in your control?"

"I have the sheets in my control, ma'am."

"That's good to go then, Sgt."

I headed back to the barracks, where a young sailor, James Jefferson, I believe, was standing watch. The moment I approached, he jumped to attention, shot me a fearful look, and shouted "attention on deck!"

I straightened and stepped into the room. To my shock, all of the men were standing beside their racks, still and quiet. While I assumed that very few if any had formal military training, the sight was nonetheless impressive.

I fought back my surprise and addressed Bootstrap. "You wanted to see me, sir?"

He nodded. "Aye, LT. It seems to me that these men be owing you an apology." He turned to Segrado, whose frown had only deepened since our encounter earlier. "Mr. Segrado, I believe you have something to say to the LT…?"

Segrado glared defiantly at Bootstrap. The latter drew himself up to his full, impressive height and stared back until the former was forced to back down. "I ain't got nothin' to say. I don't see no Loot to apologize to."

Bootstrap's voice got cold. "Oh really? Then perhaps you'd like to explain your lack of respect to the Captain, and to the rest of your shipmates as you will all be pulling extra shifts for your insubordination. Thanks to Segrado, all of the men aboard will punished. So you'd best find those manners your mama taught you so long ago. You're makin' her look bad. Still got nothin' to say?"

Segrado glared, but held his tongue. "I ain't apologizin' to some strumpet who wants to play at sailin'. She ain't my boss. Ain't never gonna be. Unless she be tellin' me to wash up so that she can feed me my supper."

Bootstrap began to speak but I cut him off. "Thank you Mr. Turner, but it is clear to me that I will never have respect from Mr. Segrado. You know what? That's ok with me. I can live with that. Because, like it or not Mr. Segrado, I am an officer. I have the authority to carry out the missions delegated to me. And I will see the crew accomplish them, will you or no. So go ahead and stay in your rack all day. Go ahead and make life miserable for the crewmates who have served the _Dutchman_ faithfully for so long because you can't get over yourself and learn to accept change." I took a breath and turned to the rest of the crew. "And the rest of you, know that I hold none of you responsible for Mr. Segrado's actions. But you are accountable for your own actions, or inactions, as was the case this morning. After the extra shifts Mr. Turner has decided to assign, I have no grievance with you. I don't care if you all think I'm a bitch. I don't care if you all like me or not. I just want to serve this ship in the best capacity I can, same as you. Like it or not, I'm part of this crew too, I'm one of your shipmates. We are a team, let's start acting like it."

Silence filled the room. I struggled to hold down my blush as I felt every eye on me. They hated me. I could feel it. The resentment, the disgust, the fear of change that I represented, everything about me. I turned back to Bootstrap to find his mouth open in what I took to be shock. "Sir," I saluted.

"I think you'll find you can carry out your mission now, LT." He said, his voice tinged with something akin to awe.

"Aye sir." I turned back to the room of sailors. "Gentlemen, assume your posts and carry out the plan of the day." I saluted them, and watched in amazement as they, as a clumsy unit, returned the honor.

I felt Bootstrap's hand on my shoulder, guiding me out of the crew barracks and up the stairs. "You done good, kid. They might not like it, but you done good. They'll respect you now, you earned it. Now, why don't you go see what the Captain wants you to do today, eh?"

I smiled and let out a breath I didn't realize I'd been holding. "Aye sir. Thank you, sir."


	10. Captain's Past

**Chapter 9: Captain's Past**

The moment I stepped into the somewhat secluded hallway by the Captain's quarters, I leaned against the bulkhead and took a shaky breath. _That could have gone better._ The little pessimist inside my head whispered. _Of course,_ the other side responded, _it could have gone much worse. So they hate you, no big deal. Crews have hated their officers before, and they will again. It's not about you; it's about their reluctance to have a new officer, and a female, on board ship. They'll get over it. And if not, that's their problem. Make them a team and they will get better; they have to…_

I swallowed, realizing that my internal advisors were right. I needed to get them to work with me. Or, to work together and pretend to work with me.

With a new goal planted firmly in my mind, I hauled myself off the bulkhead and knocked on the Captain's hatch.

When it opened, Captain Turner groaned. "Did my father send you to get me?"

I nodded. "Yes sir. He said that I'm your charge for now, sir."

His eyes widened for a brief moment, so brief I barely caught it. "My charge?" He must have a sixth sense or perhaps I'm not quite as good at hiding things as I thought. He studied my face for a moment, making me fight myself to stop the blush from rising in my cheeks. "Did something happen this morning, LT?"

I swallowed. "Yes sir."

He nodded, a pensive look on his face. "I thought it might. The rest of the crew isn't used to having another officer on board. Nor a woman, for that matter. Well… in that case, I will have to explain that you are second only to Mr. Turner and myself. You will spend the day with me, and I will teach you about life on the _Dutchman_. Alright?"

I smiled in spite of myself. "Aye sir."

"Good. Now, first lesson. In order to properly command a ship, one must be where the action is." He grinned and moved towards the stairwell, brushing against me in the narrow passageway.

I followed him up to the main deck, where he went to check with Bootstrap, who saw me and winked.

"Nothing to report sir, it's a nice day. The men had a little trouble waking up this morning but LT Knowles set them right."

I opened my mouth to correct him but he just shook his head, so I closed it.

Captain Turner nodded. "Well LT, in that case, why don't you take a couple of them and get a bearing for the closest port. The charts are in my office."_Great…working with the same guys who hate me. Just what I've always wanted. Although, if I didn't, I'm in the wrong career. And it's a little late for a career change… Ok… here goes nothing… _"Aye sir."

I went forward and found three younger looking crewmen trying to skip stones off of the bow. "Are you gentlemen doing anything right now? And please tell me your names. "

They stopped and looked up before jumping to attention. One of them, Dave Lane, responded for the group. "No ma'am. We finished ma'am. I am Lane, that muscle bound oaf is Benjamin, and the chipmunk is Williams."

I raised an eyebrow. "Thank you Mr. Lane. You said you just finished? Finished what?"

Lane pointed. "Getting a depth reading for Mr. Segrado, ma'am."

I nodded. "Alright. So all three of you are available to take on another task?"

They looked each other before nodding. "Yes ma'am."

"Great! And you don't even have to move from this spot. Or, not too much. Mr. Lane, please go down to Captain Turner's quarters and bring up the maps. Mr. Benjamin, please go ask Mr. Segrado for the navigation tools. Mr. Williams, do you know what the closest port is?"

Lane and Benjamin stood still until I waved my hand at them. "Go on."

Williams stared at me blankly. "The nearest port, ma'am? We never go into port. The Captain doesn't like making berth."

I took a deep breath. "I understand, Mr. Williams, however the Captain has decided that we are to make port. In the event that the Captain truly wishes to go ashore, where could he?"

"Nowhere, ma'am. Not for another three days, ma'am."

I realized that he was still at attention and apologized. "I see. You may relax, Mr. Williams. I'm not here to yell at you, or enforce regulations you aren't used to." When he resumed his seat, I sat across from him and continued to question him. "What do you mean, he can't go ashore?"

The man's eyes went wide. "If the captain hasn't told you…"

I cocked my head. "Did he tell you?"

Williams blushed. "Well, no. Jimmy Jacobson did. But he swears it's the truth."

I laughed lightly. "Alright. So what is this truth that Mr. Jacobson told you? And where did he hear it?"

Williams leaned in. "Jimmy says he's been on this ship since before Cap'n Turner was here. He says the _Dutchman_ was put to task by Calypso, who decreed that the ship and her crew were to sail the seas ferryin' the souls of those who died at sea to the otherworld. And the Captain, he could only go ashore once every ten years. The crew is made up of those who fear to cross over. Cap'n assumed his post by killin' Davy Jones. But the _Dutchman_ must always have a captain, so Mr. Turner cut Cap'n Turner's heart out to replace Jones's in the chest. We don't never make port anymore though. Stopped doin' that a long time ago."

"Why?" I wondered.

"Well, Cap'n Turner once had a wife. An' a son, if I 'member correct. On his twentieth year as captain, he went home, to find that his wife and son had taken ill and died. The house was deserted and there was two lonely graves by the shore. Cap'n took the chest wi' his heart back on the ship and we ain't never made port since. 'Course he don't mind if we go ashore if we're close to land, for food or somethin'. But he never goes. Wonder why he wants to go now?"

"I have an urge to pay a visit to an old friend."

Williams and I jumped. "Morning, sir."

"What are you doing, LT?"

I nodded to Williams. "Mr. Williams was telling me of the _Dutchman_ while Mr. Lane and Mr. Benjamin get the charts and navigation equipment, sir."

The captain looked to the aft stairwell, where Mr. Lane appeared with the charts. "Very well. If I recall correctly, we should be close to the west Caribbean. There is rather pressing need to travel upstream."

* * *

A/N- So... Reviews are good... Thanks to the silent readers who added this story to their favourites... My deepest apologies on the tardiness of the chapter... So please r/r and enjoy 


	11. Debriefing

**Chapter 10: Debriefing**

Lane, Williams, and Benjamin poured over the maps for a few moments before calling giving a heading.

"How long do you estimate before we reach our destination?" Captain Turner questioned the trio.

Benjamin shrugged. "The _Dutchman _is able to traverse the seas in mere minutes. Without Calypso's speed, about three days, sir."

The captain nodded. "Good." He beckoned to me, "LT, a word, if I may?"

I stood and moved toward him, "of course, sir."

He guided me away from the men. "Now that we have our heading, I believe you have the time to hold your session with your crewmates. Mr. Gyps is aft, helping Mr. Jacobson with navigation."

I caught on instantly and a wave of gratitude swept through me. "Thank you sir. Where might I be able to find SN Tyson, sir?"

"Those traveling to the other side have space on the second deck. The stairwell is on the forward port side, just beyond the crew barracks."

I bit back my impulse to hug the understanding, kind, handsome man before me. "Thank you sir. We won't be long."

He smiled. "Of course."

Still suppressing my childish impulse, I turned and flew up the steps to Gyps. "We need to speak, now."

Gyps nodded while Segrado's eyes narrowed. "Now just a minute, girlie…"

I reached out to Gyps, while glaring at Segrado. "Captain's orders."

Segrado scowled. "Get out 'o my sight then."

"Only too gladly." I smiled at him as I led Gyps away.

He followed me silently as we marched quickly across the deck and down the stairwell to the guest quarters.

Tyson was sitting by the hatch, eyes closed. At our footsteps, he opened his eyes and got up. "Good morning ma'am, Sgt."

I smiled at him. "Good morning SN Tyson. I believe this session would be best carried out in my quarters. Follow."

As I led them down the hallway, I felt an increasing anxiety for the coming session. I had no idea what to say. So the moment they stepped into my room, I shut the door and spread my arms. "This session is for you. Whatever you say or do, it doesn't leave this room. So just go. Sgt Gyps, why don't you start?"

Gyps nodded and sat on the edge of my bed. He removed the remnants of his glasses and rubbed his eyes. "I'm not quite sure what to say, ma'am." He took a deep breath and stared at the floor. "I think on some level, I always knew I'd die out here, in action, so to speak." He spoke in a quiet, almost disgusted tone. "But I never really accepted it. I thought it'd be a long time from now. Like on my last tour, after seeing my kids grow up a bit. Go to a school play, a football game, graduation. Nothing like this. I wasn't ready." He looked directly at me with deep, dead eyes. He laughed softly, depreciatingly. "You never really understand it until you're there, do you? My wife, she's strong. She'll be alright. The insurance will help. It sounds funny, but the logic is the only thing I have right now."

Tyson shook his dark head slowly. "No sir. You have us. I know we aren't your kids or your wife, but we're still family. Military family. You signed up for a job, you got everything that goes with it. Including the family. We eat together, sleep together, live together, struggle together, win and lose together. Survive…" he paused, "… or not… together. We started this mission together, we finished it together." He paused as Gyps curled over himself and wept. After a moment, he wrapped an arm over the slender man. "You're my brother, Sergeant. You got that? You aren't alone. Not now, not ever. Not in the military."

Gyps nodded and wiped at his eyes. "What about you, SN? You doing alright?"

Tyson gave a half smile and nodded. "I always knew it would be this way. I never wanted it any other way. I joined up because I didn't really have anyone at home. I signed up for something bigger than myself. And I got it. I am content. Grieving for home, yes. But in general, content. I did what I wanted in this life. Well… sort of." He rubbed the back of his neck with one big hand. "Always did want a wife and kids of my own. Sorta got that though. All the boys," he glanced in my direction, "and girls, I worked with. My brothers, sisters, and kids. I think I did alright." A single tear slipped down his face. "And now it's all gone. But for a little while, it was there. I had a family and a cause. I accomplished something. So did you, both of you. So cry, grieve, we all do. But feel good, you accomplished something. You are part of the most amazing family every created, the family of those who volunteered to serve others with all you have."

Somehow, Tyson's words brought about a strange calm. I was no longer torn apart by grief. Still, the guilt nagged at my brain, but with much less intensity than before. I glanced around and saw that Gyps was feeling the calm as well, leeching off of the contentedness Tyson seemed to have in abundance. I smiled. "Thank you SN Tyson, SGT Gyps, for your time."

Tyson and Gyps shook their heads. "Ma'am, will you be alright? You haven't said anything."

I nodded. "I had a cry last night. Honestly, it's not so much for me that I grieve. I guess it's just the guilt. I just thought that if I had done something differently, we wouldn't be here. But you're right, Tyson. We accomplished a lot. So thank you. Do either of you have anything else?"

They shook their heads. "No ma'am."

"In that case," I stood, "I suggest we all get back to work. If you ever need to have another session, or just a friend to talk to, my hatch is always open." I turned and the three of us filed out into the passageway, up the stairs, and into the sunlight.


	12. Making Friends

**Chapter 11: Making Friends**

Back in the sunlight, I allowed myself a smile. For once, this whole dying thing seemed to be tolerable. My guilt was assuaged, at least for the moment. I leaned against the rail and closed my eyes, enjoying the warmth of the sun on my face, the sheer joy of feeling alive, even if I wasn't in fact living.

"All set there, LT?"

My eyes snapped open and my whole body straightened. "Aye sir." I caught the laughter in Capt. Turner's face as he realized that he'd shocked me. I softened my posture and allowed a smile. "Thank you, sir. On behalf of my men, I would like to tell you how appreciative we are."

Turner just smiled, an expression I'd noticed, more often than not did not reach his eyes. "You are most welcome LT. And LT, you might want to learn to relax. On the _Dutchman_, we have all the time in the world. Enjoy it." He paused to let his words sink in. "I know it's not your first choice to be here, honestly, it wasn't mine either. But here we are, so may as well make the best of it, yeah?"

I nodded. "Thank you sir. What is the plan of the day from this point, sir?"

He pointed. "There was a small speed boat out in the Mediterranean that hit a reef. We need to go pick up the passengers. We also have to stop by an old friend to collect payment for a bargain. You will be shadowing me, learning about the missions assigned to the _Dutchman_ by the g-ddess Calypso. Alright?"

_I'd love to more than shadow that arse…_ I blinked and pushed the unbidden thought away from my head. "Aye, sir."

He headed towards the wheel. "Good. Did you get the coordinates for our land stop from Mr. Williams, Mr. Lane, and Mr. Benjamin?"

I shook my head. "I'm on my way, sir."

He held up one, sea-roughened hand. "Belay that, LT. We need to go pick up our latest cargo first. Please inform Mr. Segrado and Mr. Gyps that we will be following the usual methods to get to the speed boat."

"Aye sir." I bit back a slight feeling of nausea as I thought of getting anywhere near Segrado and headed over to the navigation table.

Segrado was hunched over the charts, simultaneously checking the ship's bearing and screaming at Gyps for not supervising Lane and Benjamin. I stepped up to the table. "Excuse me, Mr. Segrado."

He looked up and glared. "What you want, girlie? I actually got work to be done."

I straightened and stared straight back at him. "The Captain sends you a message. He says you are to use the usual methods to find the speed boat that hit a reef in the Mediterranean."

He sneered. "Aye aye, ma'am."

I nodded, ignoring the insult he tried to force into the words. "Thank you. And Mr. Segrado, when you've a moment, do you think you could explain the _Dutchman_'s 'usual' methods to me, please?"

His smirk turned into a look of shock. He nodded silently, a look of pure confusing written across his features. "Ma'am?"

I bit back a triumphant grin. "I would like you to teach me about the methods of navigation used on the ship, when you've a spare moment."

He cocked his head to one side and gave me a suspicious look before nodding his agreement. "A'right ma'am."

This time I did allow myself a small smile. "Thank you. I trust you will adjust the course appropriately for the new destination?"

He nodded. "O'course. I ain't stupid."

I glanced at Gyps, who had been watching the entire exchange with a mix of apprehension and amusement. When he noticed my gaze, he grinned and winked. I smiled again. "Thank you gentlemen."

I turned and made my way back over to the captain, happy that at least some progress was being made and I had some use.

As soon as I reached him, Captain Turner motioned for me to follow and turned to head back below deck. I followed, slightly curious. I noticed as I walked behind him that he had a rather unique gait, almost as if he were driven by some unseen force, trying to get somewhere but never quite able to reach wherever there was. Of course, his stride wasn't the only thing I noticed. He had a powerful frame, tall and lithe, the years of hard labor before the mast giving him a sort of understated grace as he stepped in time with the swell and ebb of the waves.

"You wanted to know how we find out cargo, LT." His soft voice jolted my mind out of it place, somewhere walking the fine line between appropriate and gutter.

I nodded, barely able to suppress the blush threatening my bearing. "Yes sir. I find it difficult to understand how a ship as old as the _Dutchman_ is able to travel all over the globe in a matter of minutes or hours, let alone find a small boat in the Mediterranean without modern navigation tools."

He chuckled softly, a sound I thought suited him. "LT, this ship is under the orders of the goddess Calypso. She guides us to our destinations and lends speed to our sails. We can also travel below the waves, at a much faster pace. As it is, we travel at such a pace as to be invisible to the ships of the living." He stopped walking at the stairwell, motioning for me to descend before him.

I stepped down the passage, waiting at the bottom of the staircase for the captain. He descended quickly and guided me towards his quarters. "A word LT, if I may."

I nodded and stepped into his study. "Sir?"

He motioned towards a chair, placed behind a large desk against the massive starboard bulkhead. A large bed, queen-sized to my estimation, took up a significant portion of the aft bulkhead, while the port one was mostly made up of drawers and a couple of closets. There was a large wooden chest at the foot of the bed, propped open to reveal a wealth of books and charts. I perched on the edge of the indicated chair, curious once more.

"Do you know the reason women weren't allowed on ships for the majority of history?"

The Captain's question surprised me. Following swiftly on the heels of my confusion was anger. "Sir," I started, "if this is about my work aboard your vessel –"

"No. Nothing at all like that, LT, I assure you." He sat on the edge of his bed, facing me. "The reason was two-fold. Of course there was the belief that women are inferior to men" he held up a hand to stop me from interjecting, "but there was also the belief that women are bad luck. I personally don't believe either. However, many of the men on board believe that to have a woman is to bring a curse down upon the entire ship."

I laughed and he cocked his head, quizzically. "Well, we're already dead, what kind of curse could affect a dead man?"

He gave a rueful smile. "You have a point, but the men still believe. I do not tell you this to frighten you or to chase you off the ship; just to warn you that you may not be the most popular sailor aboard any time soon."

I grinned. "Don't worry sir. Winning the Ms Dutchman competition wasn't exactly high on my priority list."

For the first time since I met him, Captain Turner laughed. A genuine laugh that spread like a wildfire and lit up his entire face, including his normally melancholy eyes. "You certainly have spirit, LT."

His laughter was contagious; I couldn't help giggling a bit myself as I admired the spark in his eyes, the youth that returned to his face as he chuckled. "Is that all, sir?" I asked, though loathe to leave his laughing presence.

He slowly stopped laughing and brought one hand up to rub the back of his neck. "Well, actually, LT, I was wondering if you wanted to have dinner with me this evening. You could catch me up on the welfare of your crew. And, in turn, I will try to answer any and all of your questions." He raised a hand to prevent me from speaking. "I know you have questions, you have a perpetual look of curiosity in your eyes."

I blushed. What was wrong with me? One day on a ship and I'm already turning to putty! I had so many days at sea I had lost count, and now one Skipper could make me blush like a schoolgirl. I internally cursed. Outwardly, I smiled. "I would be honored sir, but wouldn't the crew talk? It could be considered fraternization sir." I pointed out, more to see if I could get him to laugh again, instead of actual concern for the rules or the suspicions of the crew.

And laugh he did. "Very well, LT. You bring up a good point. Do you play Risk, LT? I have yet to find a good competitor among the crew. How about eating dinner with the rest of the crew and then retiring to my study for a round of either Risk or chess?" A mischievous grin flitted across his face, "Or Twister, perhaps?"

"My, it's enough of a stretch for me to even understand that you know of the game Twister." I responded, tongue firmly in cheek.

"Clever, LT. So are you saying that you're not up to the challenge? Perhaps Mr. Gyps or Mr. Tyson would be interested in taking up the position of Risk player."

I sat up straight and cocked an eyebrow. "I never said I wasn't up to the challenge, sir."

He smiled. "Wonderful. Dinner is at 1830. I eat with the rest of the crew. How does 1930 sound for our game? Of course, if you still want to back out…"

"1930 it is, sir. Is there anything else? We seem to be picking up speed. If it's alright with you, sir, I would like to see how we get to the Mediterranean from the southern Pacific."

"Certainly. See you tonight, LT."

I rose, and he rose with me. He stepped to the door and opened it for me, waving me through. "If you go topside, please remember to tie a lifeline. Yes, I know we are dead, but even so, I would hate to have to go fish you out of the waves somewhere."

I nodded and walked down the passage and up the stairs, and into the most bizarre sight I had ever seen.

GONAVYGONAVYGONAVYGONAVYGONAVY

A/N- For my loyal readers who are still following this story: I apologize for the lengthy delay. There's always so much to do! So once again, I will strive to do better with the next chapter. This chapter is dedicated to all of the sailors, soldiers, and airmen out fighting for their countries and beliefs. May you all come home safely and swiftly. To Alpha, Bravo, and Charlie Companies, you know who you are, Happy Thanksgiving. It's almost the end of the semester, we're surviving.


	13. Beginnning Anew

**Chapter 12- Beginning Anew**

As soon as my feet hit the exposed deck, Bootstrap threw his arm around my waist and tied a lifeline to the main mast. "You shouldn't be up here!" He scolded.

I nodded, too stunned to answer as my mouth dropped open and I turned my head to try to see everything at once. The _Dutchman_ was underwater! Not just listing or riding low, but actually moving underwater! The water streamed past, making staying grounded difficult. The sails were folded and various sea creatures floated or swam by. A couple of curious turtles had landed on the bow, so I cautiously made my way forward to get a closer view. A hand on my shoulder stopped me from getting too close.

"Don't mess with the turtles, mate. They ain't too fond o' people. Nasty run in with a nutter pirate cap'n not too long ago."

I raised my eyebrow at the man, who just squeezed my shoulder, until I glanced at it and he swiftly removed his hand. "I do believe a story is in order for later Mr. –"

"Gibbs, miss. The name's Joshamee Gibbs. I do likes a good story meself. Ye see, I was born –"

I raised my hand to stop him. "Mr. Gibbs, with all due respect, I haven't been on a ship like this one since my commissioning ceremony on the USS Constitution, let alone one that sails underwater. I would very much like to observe for a bit. Would it be possible to hear your story at a later date?"

Gibbs frowned, "Aye miss. Oh, miss. What be your name?"

I cracked a smile as a school of fish swam by, their scales glittering brightly. "I am LT Maribel Knowles. It is a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Gibbs."

He nodded. "You're a LT, girl? It's frightful bad luck to have a woman onboard ship, well, I'm not sure of your own customs but… Suppose I'll be seeing ye around then miss." He touched his cap before turning back to the side

I returned the gesture with a salute. "Until later."

I gave a half-hearted yank on my lifeline, just to check its strength, before heading out once again towards the bow. As I moved forward, I struggled to remain upright and on the deck. I fought the strong current created by the movement of the ship and finally reached a point close enough to the bow to, if one was facing aft, observe the whole ship. Before I could turn around, something gooey hit my face and I flailed for a moment, before falling into something warm and solid. The gooey substance was peeled from my face and I blinked, staring up into the face of Captain Turner.

"I told you to be careful." He remarked, softly.

"Careful? _Careful?_ Like I wanted that… thing…. whatever it was… wait… what was it… to attack my face? You think I wasn't careful?" I ground out, quietly.

Turner just helped me back onto my feet and held out a round, gelatinous creature. "You had a jellyfish on your face." He reached out and touched my cheek gently. "He got you, though. Let me take a look at that…"

"Ouch!" His thumb brushed over a tender spot on my cheek and came away bloody. I winced as he passed his finger over the cut again. "That hurts."

He nodded. "I'd imagine so. He stung you. Follow me; I'll clean it for you."

"I can clean it myself, you don't have to." I insisted, touched by his concern. I put my hand to the scratch and was surprised to find it bleeding freely. "Do you have any bactine?"

A soft laugh from the captain made my remaining anger dissipate almost instantly. "I don't, but I do have rum. Which might not go amiss right now?"

I nodded. "Thank you sir. Would I be able to take you up on that later? I'm still rather fascinated with the underwater travel thing."

Another small laugh followed. "There will be other trips under the surface. Now though, we should have a look at that scratch before it gets infected."

A thought struck me as I nodded and twisted in the captain's arms, trying to regain my balance on the swiftly moving deck. "Sir? If we are dead, how can things get infected? Wouldn't the wound just stay open?"

The captain smiled. "Ordinarily, you'd be right, LT. But we are not exactly dead. We are dead to the living world, but do not dwell in the land of the dead. Our bodies react the same way living ones do, however we cannot die, because we are already dead."

I nodded, wrapping my mind around the concept. "Thank you, sir."

The captain released me, before motioning for me to follow. "Let's go take care of that battle scar, eh LT?"

I smiled. "Thank you sir."

He nodded, continuing his trek across the deck, using the current from the water flowing about the boat to speed his progress. "LT, when the two of us are speaking on a topic unrelated to the running of this ship, I believe the strict protocol unnecessary. Please feel free to call me Will."

I remembered him saying something like this earlier, but it did not mesh with my internal, military programming. "Very well" I bit back the urge to say 'sir.' "If I may respectfully request that you call me Maribel or some permutation thereof."

He laughed as he grabbed onto the railing to pull himself into the hull, out of the streaming water. "As you wish."

I reached the railing and held fast with one hand while untying the lifeline with the other. The captain, _Will_, grabbed my hand as soon as the line was off and pulled me into the stairwell, which was surprisingly dry.

"Just part of the_Dutchman's_ magic" he responded to my wide eyes. "Go change, then join me in my quarters so that I can care for that cut."

I nodded sharply. "Yes sir!"

At his look, I knew I had done something wrong. "Sorry, _Will_."

He smiled. "Thank you. Oh, and 'Bel?"

"Yes?"

"Take a hot shower too, you could probably do with the relaxing."

"Thank you sir…. Will." I blushed and headed over to my bunk to warm up.

I stepped into my room and leaned against the door, trying desperately to figure out what had just happened.

As I realized that I was in unknown waters, I decided to put aside my confusion in favor of taking a good, hot shower. I moved over to the bureau and withdrew a set of large, fluffy towels. I sighed in pleasure and walked straight to the head, where I was sure to lock the door leading to the captain's chambers. I turned and looked over the sink, into a beautiful, silver mirror. I gaped at the reflection. The woman staring back at me was nothing like the one I remember. The woman I was at my commissioning, on all of my missions, was strong, certain, and composed. The woman staring back at me was still strong, but confused and struggling to make sense of her situation. The facial features were more or less the same, maybe a bit thinner than I remembered, the eyes a bit duller, not as confident. I wrote off these changes to stress and death, but knew that the stress of my latest, last, mission had hit me harder than I was willing to admit. Moving off of my face, I noted that my hair, a natural brown/gold, was darker, my eyes darker as well, my body thinner. I winced, this woman looked as though she had been though hell and was still traveling through it. I resolved to exit the head looking like my old self, or as close to that self as I could get.

Goal in mind, I turned from the mirror and stripped, taking care to fold the clothing I had removed and stacking it neatly on the counter. I returned to the mirror, letting my eyes hit the various scars on my body, the ones from each mission, the new ones from the cave collapse. Satisfied that I had earned every one of my scars and could continue to be worthy of them, even on the _Dutchman_, I stepped into the shower and turned it on.

The water raced down my body, its heat working its way into my muscles, loosening them and freeing them of a tension I hadn't been aware of. I stretched, reveling in the new movement the heated water afforded me. Sufficiently warmed and relaxed, I reached over to a shelf on the wall of the shower, and grabbed a bottle of shampoo. The captain had a variety of soaps and other products, which I admired for a moment before studying the bottle in my hand. I opened it and sniffed. Happy with a light, barely there beachy scent, I poured a conservative amount into my hands and washed my hair, marveling at the amount of dust and salt that rinsed free. After a quick rinse with a similarly scented conditioner, I found a new razor, which I used to regain my sense of femininity and smooth legs. Finally content that I was again a human being and not an ocean cave monster, I shut off the water and stepped out of the shower. Wrapping the towel around my head, I stepped out and turned towards my chamber.

I walked to the dresser and opened the drawer, rummaging for something to wear. I pulled out a dark red man's shirt and black trousers. Then I started digging for underwear. The second drawer contained a variety of women's underclothes, including those that would now belong on a dummy in a museum. I found a few pairs of relatively modern bikini style underwear, and a couple bras in assorted colors. I winced to think of where they came from, but had no other alternative to wearing them. Beggars can't be choosers and all that. I dressed quickly, then hunted for a belt to cinch the shirt about my waist. When I couldn't find one, I found a faux corset in black that reminded me of the one the girl wore in the film Van Helsing. At the risk of appearing like a total skank, I wrapped it around my waist and laced it loosely. At least it would keep the overly large shirt from getting caught on anything. After catching a glimpse of my appearance in the mirror, I laughed and removed it, settling instead for tying the back of the shirt with a ribbon. I pulled on some socks, then slipped into the boots.

I returned to the head, and brushed out my hair before returning it to the regulation approved bun. I glanced at myself once again, and was happy to see that, aside from the clothing, I had returned to the Maribel Knowles I knew and was comfortable with. My eyes lingered on the new cut, still bleeding slightly, glaring angrily from my left cheek. I winced, I'd have to think of a better story than "I got stung by a jellyfish…" although being stung by a jellyfish while traveling on a ghost ship under the water wasn't exactly a bad story…

I stepped through the head and unlocked the knob, before knocking quietly on the Captain's door, somewhat ashamed that I had taken so long to clean up.

He called from inside, "come in."

I opened the door and entered, waiting by the door for an order to move or sit.

"Bel, please, come sit. You don't have to wait for an order in private." He gestured to his bed. "Have a seat."

I noted the twin bottles of rum and pile of rags on the side table and snapped into the closed expression I was so accustomed to wearing when in pain or on a mission. The captain, _Will_, noticed and shook his head. "Not in here if you don't want to. All of my crewmembers are allowed to express any emotions they feel, as they feel them. I know you won't outside of your own quarters, but, in here, you are invited to, should you so choose."

I took a deep breath and let the expression melt away, leaving my inner hints of fear shine clearly on my face. "I'm not sure about this…. I mean, I did wash it while I was in the shower, sir."

"Will." He corrected. "And I believe you. But this is to make sure it doesn't get infected. Come on, sit down. Do you want something to squeeze or bite down on?"

My eyes widened. "You think it will hurt that much?"

"I don't know what your pain threshold is. It may, it may not."

I nodded. "Let's just get this over with." I shuffled hesitantly towards the bed and sat down next to the nightstand.

The captain, I mentally smacked myself, _Will_, pulled a chair up to the bedside reached for a small glass beside the rum. "Here," he poured a shot of rum into the glass and handed it to me. "For you, to dull the pain a bit."

I smiled at his consideration as I shook my head. "No thank you. I don't drink while on duty."

_Will_ laughed. "I'm impressed, 'Bel. But you aren't on duty. You're getting treated for injuries sustained in the line of duty. I think you're entitled to a drink."

"No thank you, Will." I silently congratulated myself for remembering to call him by his name. "I'll be going back out as soon as you're done. With your permission, of course."

He smirked slightly. "Good catch. But I would rather you stayed below decks to keep the bandages dry, just until we surface. We will make other voyages you can watch."

I nodded and he smiled. "So why don't you tell me about yourself?" Out of the corner of my eye, I caught movement, a rag getting soaked in rum, being brought up to my face… I winced.

"Tell me about yourself," he pressed.

"I'm not sure what you want to know." I didn't want the distraction, however kind and thoughtful the sentiment. "With all due respect, just put the cloth on and get it over with. Besides, I honestly don't think I'm ready to talk about it."

He nodded. "Very well. When you're ready to talk…"

I nodded shortly, tensely. "Thank you. Let's just do this, shall we?"

He gave a tight smile. "As you wish."

"Wait… could you… perhaps….tell me about yourself? Or your ship? Something?"

He sighed. "As you wish."

As he raised the rum soaked cloth to my face, he began his tale.

GONAVYGONAVYGONAVYGONAVYGONAVYGONAVYGONAVYGONAVYGONAVYGONAVY

My Dear Readers- My most sincere apologies on the extreme tardiness of this chapter. Things have been rather hectic and this is the least of my duties at the moment. And for that I apologize. If you can still bear to stay with me and this story, I can promise that you will not be disappointed. And if anyone in Charlie 2-3 is reading this…. We will be honor platoon this time!!! And Platoon Drill for Srping '08- KILL! Also, cookies will be issued to those who find the hidden quote from one of my favorite movies... Extra cookie rations if you can name the film.

So in all, thank you for sticking around.

Very Respectfully,

Arda's Angel, USNR


	14. A Captain, A Man

Chapter 13- A Captain, A Man

"I warn you now, Bel, my tale is not a happy one, nor a completely comprehensive one. Many things happened that I still cannot understand, nor do I really want to try. This being said, I will tell you, should you still wish to hear. But I do expect the same from you? Over our game of Risk, this evening?" Will began.

I nodded, willing myself to sit still against the rum soaked rag that was moving increasingly closer to my face. "Of course, Will."

"Very well." He cupped his left hand about my cheek, while bringing the rag in his right to the top end of the cut. I hissed in pain at the contact of the alcohol with the open wound, and he stroked my right cheek with his thumb and began speaking in a very smooth, calm voice.

"I was born in England and raised by my mother and father until I was about 4. Then my father left to sail and return to piracy. My mother raised me the next 8 years on her own. Then, when I was 12, she died. Having no relatives to go to, I caught passage on a merchant vessel heading to Port Royal in the Caribbean. During the voyage, we were attacked by a pirate ship, _The Black Pearl_, and the ship was scuttled by flames and sank. To my knowledge, I was the only survivor. I was picked up by a passing ship and taken to my destination by Governor Swann and his daughter Elizabeth, also traveling from England. The governor was kind enough to find me an apprenticeship with Mr. Brown, the blacksmith. For the next eight years, I stayed with him, learned the trade. Actually, four or five years into my training, Mr. Brown took to the bottle, and was the blacksmith in title only. I remained close friends with Elizabeth through it all. Then, eight years after coming to Port Royal, Elizabeth was captured by pirates and I went, with the help of a pirate named Jack Sparrow, to save her."

As he spoke, he moved the rag down the cut, washing away the blood and disinfecting the minor wound. Whenever he rinsed the rag and added more rum to the injury, I hissed. "How did you save her? If you don't mind my asking, of course."

His eyes grew distant for a moment, before refocusing on my cheek. "Jack and I commandeered a ship from the British Royal Navy and sailed to Tortuga, which was a highly active pirate port at the time. We picked up a crew and followed the _Pearl_ to Isla de Meurta, the island home of the cursed treasure of Cortez. We saved Elizabeth, and I realized that the pirates who kidnapped her needed my blood, not hers, to free themselves of the curse."

"Wait" I blinked. "What curse? I thought the treasure was cursed, not the pirates?" I blushed, realizing that I had just interrupted my senior officer, and behaved like a small child.

The captain just smiled indulgently. "The treasure was cursed. Any man who removed more than a single piece of treasure from the stone chest would be cursed by the gods to walk the earth forever and never be satisfied. There were 882 coins in the chest. The crew took them all, thus, they all were cursed. If you wish to hear more of this, Mr. Turner was a part of the crew, I'm sure he wouldn't mind."

I just stared at him, trying to process the existence of cursed pirates and treasure. It all seemed surreal. But then, so was everything now. I swallowed, trying to concentrate on his story as the rag hit a new spot on the wound. "What happened then?"

His eyes grew distant. "I was captured; Elizabeth and Jack were marooned on a tiny island. They brought the British Navy to the cove and saved me. We, Elizabeth and myself, went back to Port Royal. The authorities tried to hang Jack, but I helped him escape. Elizabeth decided to call off her wedding to Commodore James Norrington -"

"Wait. What??? She was going to marry who?" I was thoroughly confused by this. "Wasn't she your girlfriend?"

Will laughed at my confusion. "She wasn't my 'girlfriend' as you say. I was interested in her, but courtship in my lifetime was very different from how it is now, I think."

I nodded, thinking, for the first time since I had died, about my friends and family back home. I had been so worried about my crew, I hadn't even had a thought as to my own family back home. I had grown so accustomed to thinking of them in the off times, when I could afford to be distracted, that I had effectively shut out my own family from the current situation. I refocused my brain. There would be time enough to mourn later.

"So why was she going to marry the other guy?"

Will wiped the rag along the length of the cut, cleaning the whole wound, occasionally adding more rum. "She begged him to bring the Naval ship to Isla de Meurta to save me. When he refused, she asked him to save me as a wedding gift to her. He agreed.

"Oh" I winced at the latest addition of rum. "Any chance you'll be done soon?"

He pulled the rag from my cheek and reached for a clean cloth on the table. He folded the cloth into a rectangle sized to fit over the cut and laid it over the wound. "Please hold that in place."

I raised my hand to my cheek, and he placed it on top of the cloth. "I won't have to hold this until it heals, right?"

He laughed. "Of course not. I just need to get something to bind it with." He walked over to his desk and bent down to the bottom drawer. When he withdrew his hand from the drawer, my eyes widened.

"You're using DUCT TAPE?!?!"

Will smiled. "It works, and it won't hurt, I promise."

"It better not…sir."

He laughed. "Very well, LT. I will tell it not to hurt, just for you." He held the silver role up to his face and stared at it. "You hear that? You can't hurt 'Bel. Understood? Good."

I couldn't hold back my laughter any more. I began to laugh so hard tears ran down my face. Will took a clean cloth to my face to wipe away the tears. He pressed a dry piece of cloth to the wound and, before I could protest, taped it firmly in place.

"There. All patched up." The ship gave a lurch and he fell onto me. He blushed violently and straightened up. "If you'll forgive me, I think we have arrived."

GONAVYGONAVYGONAVYGONAVYGONAVYGONAVYGONAVYGONAVY

To make up for the lengthy wait, I give you another chapter.

Your most obedient servant,

Arda's Angel


	15. New Cargo

This chapter is dedicated in loving memory to my cousin Kenny, who passed away last week, and to all of those fighting for their countries and for what they believe in.

GONAVYGONAVYGONAVYGONAVYBEATARMYGONAVY

I followed the captain back topside to observe the new location and people. The scene was one of tragic stillness, bodies draped over the distorted hull of a small, private speedboat, quietly slipping into the sea with barely a ripple. Three men stood on the deck of the _Dutchman_, one older than the other two. All three bore a distinct family resemblance. The older man appeared relatively calm, comforting the other two as the captain approached.

Will put on the same expression I remembered him wearing when I first met him; his face was kind and expressed both his sorrow and understanding for the new arrivals. He approached the oldest man first, smiled gently, and asked his question. "Demetrios Havelock, do you fear death?"

The man cocked his head, appearing to consider both the captain and the question. I took this time to study him. He was about 5 foot 8 inches or so, a bit on the heavy side, with rich steel gray hair. His face was weathered and wrinkled, the face of a hard-working seaman. He was deep in thought, his dark eyes distant in his olive face, staring at everything and nothing. A few moments passed. His eyes then cleared and he focused in on Will's face. He smiled and a look of peace came over his rough features. He shook his head and replied in his own language, which seemed to make no difference at all to Will, "I do not fear death."

Will extended a hand to Mr. Havelock, who shook it. Will explained the passage of the _Dutchman _briefly and told him to stand to the side. He then approached the next man.

This man, Elias Havelock, was younger than Demetrios and identical to the other man. He looked to be about 40 or so, with rich dark hair, dark eyes, and an olive complexion. His face was also weathered, but not so much as the older man. He too considered the question offered by Captain Turner, before looking at Demetrios and saying, softly, "If my father does not fear it, than neither do I." Will nodded and gently guided him over to his father before turning to the final man.

Iosif was the identical twin of Elias. His face however, was not weathered or aged at all. I guessed he was a businessman, someone not native to the sea and her harsh whims. He was dressed more expensively than the other two, his clothes not flashy, but well made and impractical for being out at sea. Will approached him and posed his question, a third time. This third man did not seem as self-assured as the first two. He glanced around with nervous eyes and quick jerks of his head. The sight of the crew standing around seemed to startle him, as did the slight breeze that blew across the ship. He swallowed hard, looked at the crew, then at his father and brother, then back. His eyes never seemed to rest in any one spot, and yet they didn't seem to take in anything. Finally, he looked back at his family and pointed. "Where they go, I go."

Will nodded. "As you will." He turned. "Mr. Turner, please take these men down to the passenger racks, then check on the cook to see the status of dinner, if you would."

Bootstrap nodded to the men. "This 'ere's Cap'n Turner. He'll take care o' ye until ye're safe on the other side. Follow me, please." He disappeared into the hold with the latest additions to the floating ghost story.

The rest of the crew began to scatter back to their duties, and I decided that it was time to continue the duty assigned me before the speedboat incident. I found Lane, Benjamin, and Williams sitting on the bow once again, this time dropping woodchips into the crystal clear waters of the Mediterranean. I stepped closer and addressed them. "Gentlemen, did you find that heading?"

Lane jumped. "Mother of god, ma'am! Don't sneak up on a bloke like that! But yeah, we got the heading. Gave it to Segrado, jus' like you said."

I smiled. "We may need another heading now, considering we are no longer at that location. If you would, please…?"

Understanding dawned on their faces and they raced away to get a new heading for our journey upstream. As soon as the heading had been checked, it was given to Mr. Segrado, who grumbled and adjusted course accordingly.

I smiled, finally able to facilitate the accomplishment of a simple task, before hearing my name called across the deck. "'Bel!"

I turned and saw Bootstrap waving. "'Bel! Get your men for chow."

I glanced at the sky to see the sun still bright, but wavering slightly in the west. 1830 already, I thought, weird. Time flies out here. I motioned to the trio of men, who had once again returned to their usual haunt to skip stones. "Chow time gentlemen."

They jumped up and raced past me. "Last one to the galley has to polish the others' boots!"

I shook my head and wandered aft, before realizing that I had no idea where the galley was. I wandered about topside a bit longer, before realizing that everyone else was gone, save Gyps, who'd been put on watch. I meandered over and waved. "Evening, Sgt."

He made to salute but I shook my head. "Evening, ma'am. Shouldn't you be at dinner?"

I shrugged and raised my hands. "I don't know where to find the galley. And I'd rather sit out here. It's not like I'm gonna starve to death…"

He winced, then nodded. "You have a point. But you should still go to dinner so you can bring me something back."

I rolled my eyes. "And what would you like this evening, sir?"

Gyps laughed. "Whatever the galley is making is good with me. Thanks LT."

I mock bowed. "Of course. Anything for you, Sgt." I turned and headed off towards the hatch into the ship, looking for the galley.

As I walked along the passageways, I noticed that everything seemed deserted. _Of course, everyone's at dinner, _I thought. I continued walking, peering into each hatch to see if it led to the galley. Without warning, I walked right into someone's back. He lurched forward and almost dropped two dinner plates, piled high with all kinds of foods. He swung around and my eyes widened to see that the man I'd bumped into was Will. I snapped to attention. "Sorry sir!"

He just shook his head. "No harm done. I was just about to bring these up for you and Mr. Gyps. I noticed you weren't at dinner."

I held back a wince. "I was unable to find the chow hall sir."

He laughed softly. "Now you know."

I nodded. "Yessir."

He motioned with his head for me to move. "Back topsides with you, 'Bel. Chow time. You'd best be well fed so you're not focused on hunger during our game tonight."

I walked back down the passage and up the stairs laughing. "You'll probably wish I was focused on food by the time it's over!"

GONAVYBEATARMYGONAVYGONAVYGONAVYGONAVY

Thank you to all who continue to read this. Computer and internet access are a bit spotty at the moment so bear with me please. I appreciate any and all reviews and will answer them. Reviewers get anchor shaped cookies. Flames will be sent to torment new midshipman candidates at the base.


	16. Risk It All

Chapter 16

Dinner passed uneventfully. The food was good, if a little bland, and the company was beyond reproach. Sgt Gyps told crude Corps jokes until tears of mirth ran down my cheeks. Captain Turner looked confused at most of the jokes, but eventually joined in with a few of his own. I could barely believe that the quiet and reserved skipper of the infamous _Flying Dutchman_ could be entertained by such simple things like a quiet dinner with his subordinates.

All too quickly, the meal was over and Captain Turner stood, holding out his hand to me. "I believe it is time for our game, unless you are too afraid of losing…?"

I laughed as I grabbed the dishes, "You wish… sir." I gave him a cheeky grin and headed back down to the galley to return the dirty plates.

Will followed me down the stairs after thanking Carl for the entertainment. "When you're done, report to my quarters, aye?"

I nodded. "Aye sir."

I laughed softly and picked my way down the p-way, through the masses of crewmen stumbling out of the galley with mugs of rum and handfuls of dice. I smiled at the cook and thanked him for the meal, placing the dishes on the countertop. He nodded and grinned, before going back to the stove.

I fought my way back down the hall into the quieter section of the passage. Once the hall cleared, I took a deep breath and realized that I had not played Risk or Chess in a very long time. _Shit. _I thought. _He's gonna kick my ass… that would suck._ I noticed I was at the captain's door and knocked.

"Bootstrap you bilge rat, what could possibly be so urgent?" The door swung open and the skipper made a face. His eyes widened. "Sorry Lieutenant, I was expecting you to be someone else."

I laughed. "I think I got that. You were hoping I'd not show then, sir?"

He laughed. "Nothing of the sort. I already have the game set up, actually. Please, come in." He swept his arm and gestured to the Risk board. I laughed and entered the room, taking a seat at one end of the chest at the foot of his bed.

He let the door swing shut and took up his seat across from me. "Rock paper scissors for the first move?"

My eyes widened a bit. "You know rock paper scissors???"

He laughed. "Of course. On three…" We made fists and threw out our shapes. I had made scissors, he had kept the rock. I groaned and he made the first move, starting his army on New Guinea.

I shook my head. "You really gonna do that? Didn't you learn anything? Never get involved in a land war in Asia! You won't hold it!"

He smiled. "You're giving strategy away to your opponent. Are you so certain of your hold on Asia? Besides, you agreed to tell me your story tonight, seeing as I have already told you mine."

I grumbled and began moving my men around. "Fine, but don't expect anything quite as fantastic as your story. My life is… was… not nearly so interesting. I was born, lived, died. The end." I lost Madagascar.

"Come now, everyone's life is interesting. Surely you had a family, friends, lovers. School, the military. More than just existing." He coaxed, fishing for details. I claimed New Guinea.

I sighed. "Fine. I was born in Boston Massachusetts at Brigham and Women's. Nothing special. I had one older brother, a twin sister, and two younger brothers. My parents were normal people too. I went to public school, then to university. While in university, I discovered the ROTC program and entered into the Navy. This was my 5th year serving. I was supposed to get discharged at the end of this year. Uhm…. My older brother, Justin, is a firefighter in Boston, Massachusetts, married with one child already and expecting another. Kaelynne is 7 now. She's adorable!" I smiled, remembering my beautiful, lively niece. My army on New Guinea grew.

He took Russia. "Is she your only niece?"

I grinned. "Nope. I have 1 other and 2 nephews. Ryan and Aidan are my sister's twin boys; they're 3. She and her husband had just had a girl last I heard. Her name is Katherine Margot. I was already on deployment when she was born. Neither of my younger brothers have children, which is good considering. Kevin, the older of the two, is 25 and is doing very well out in California. He's a professional hockey player and model." I laughed. Japan was mine.

"Your family sounds nice" Will remarked, pushing some of his men into European territory.

I smiled, trying to keep any sadness out of my face. "Yeah, they're great. Zak, my youngest brother, just graduated from the Tisch School of Performing Arts at New York University. He's got a job as an assistant assistant director for some low budget indie film. He's already gotten a few to the indie film festivals." A wave of nostalgia swept through me and I let out a short chuckle. "He promised that when he made it big, he was going to take me to a big movie premier with the red carpet thing and everything. He never really had a steady girlfriend, so he said he'd take me if I'm not deployed. Guess he'll just have to man up and start dating now… seeing as he doesn't have a back-up date anymore…"

The captain smiled softly. "I'm sure you were more than the convenient family member to bring to such a prestigious event. I never had any siblings… did you all get along?"

I laughed. "Hardly! Justin is 4 years older, so he was always doing his own thing. We were close as we got older though. He and I joined a fire department together, as volunteers. He made it his career. Erica and I, being twins, are pretty close. We shared a room at home and then an apartment at university. She met a really nice army man, Dominic, and married him. Now they have their 2 sons and the new baby. Kevin just adores them. I keep telling him he should start thinking about settling down and having a few of his own, before he takes so many pucks to the groin that he no longer can. He and Erica used to go do really crazy stuff together. She and I have always been on the wilder side. We, the three of us, went sky-diving once. It was so cool. We also all learned how to scuba dive together. Zak and Justin did too, but they didn't dive nearly as often. It was really fun. She and Kev' went mountain biking and rock climbing and a whole bunch of other really random crazy stuff. Not to say we didn't fight… she was always much neater than I was. And Justin, because he's older, always thought he was way cooler. Every time he had new girlfriend, he'd stop talking to everyone and always be on the phone with her or whatever. Robin happens to be the one he stayed with." I realized I was rambling and cut myself off. "I apologize sir. I'm sure you don't want to hear the internal politics of my family."

He laughed, motioning to the board between us. "Quite the contrary, lieutenant, I assure you. I find you, and your family politics, most fascinating. I never had a family to speak of. My mother died when I was young, my father enslaved to the _Dutchman_ long before that. The only family I had was my master, Mr. Brown the blacksmith, and Elizabeth, my childhood friend and, later, my wife. I really have no idea how true families work and never realized there were politics involved. The rest of the men, if you hadn't noticed, don't speak about their families much, and considering they have been aboard this ship longer than I, it is understandable. I appreciate the change of pace. Even if the game has been ignored thus far."

I ducked my head, embarrassed. "I apologize, sir."

The captain shook his head. "Don't be silly. As I said, I am far more interested in hearing about you than I am about playing a game we can pick up again later. Besides, we will have plenty of time afloat. One thing though, 'Bel."

I tilted my head. "Yes, sir?"

"Didn't I tell you to call me Will?" He asked with a wry smile.

I winced. "Sorry sir! _Shit!_ I mean, Will."

Will's youthful face eased into an amused. "I believe that will be all for the night then, 'Bel. It is rather late, and I presume you have much to think about. Perhaps we can pick up again tomorrow night?"

I nodded. "As you wish, sir. Will."

As I moved to stand, he did as well. "I bid you goodnight, then." He touched his brow in an archaic salute. "Ma'am."

I returned the gesture with a sharp one of my own. "Sir."

I stepped briskly out of the room and moved across the p-way into my own. Once there, the exhaustion of the day quickly caught up with me. I stripped quickly, before wrapping myself in a simple cotton shift I'd pillaged from one of the drawers. A simple knock at the door to the head reassured me that it was empty. I entered and brushed my teeth, my hands moving of their own accord. My feet steered me towards my bed. As soon as my head hit the pillow, my physically and mentally exhausted body passed into the realm of unconsciousness.

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So, it's been a really long time and you have my humblest apologies. Life does come first, however, and recently I have had one. So I submit the above chapter for your pleasure and thank you from the deepest corner of my soul for continuing to follow this story, even in it's most tardy development.

Your obedient servant,

Arda's Angel


	17. The Secrets We Keep

A/N- This chapter is dedicated to my always faithful reviewer and best friend, Nayarra. Happy birthday!!!! May your birthday be full of fun and lacking homework! Also, I apologize for the walls of text within this chapter.

**Chapter 17- The Secrets We Keep  
**

The gentle taps at my door shook me from my sleep. I shot out of bed and pulled at the door, only to find a rather sheepish looking captain standing before me. He wore an apologetic expression as he ran a hand through his dark locks, messy from sleep. And yet, despite the lost puppy aura about him, his eyes betrayed worry. "Are you alright?" he asked.

I raised an eyebrow. "Of course. Why wouldn't I be?"

He reached out a questioning hand and brushed it across my face, holding out his fingers to show me the wetness that had come off with them. "You were crying in your sleep."

My own fingers traced my cheek, following the same route on the other side. They, too, touched tears. "I didn't know… I'm sorry, sir." I looked down at the floor, rather ashamed of my childishness.

Will placed two fingers below my chin, tenderly raising my head, guiding my eyes to his. "There's nothing to be ashamed of. You've only just arrived here. And I don't believe I would be far off to say that there are a great many places you would rather be." He remarked, the words magnified by the sorrow I felt reflected in his dark eyes.

I attempted a smile as I cut him off. "Sir, it's not like that. I just -"

He laughed, quietly. "Of course it is. You have no desire to be here. I know that. You know that. I don't necessarily want to be here either, for whatever consolation that's worth. But we are. I've had my time to mourn; you have not. It never stops hurting, but it does get easier to bear." He ruffled my already messy hair. "Now, will you be able to get back to sleep? Dawn is in another 4 hours yet. You will need the rest. We make landfall tomorrow evening. You should be well rested; we do not land in any known harbor, and you will want to be on your guard."

I nodded. "Aye, sir. I will be on my guard."

He shook his head, his long dark mane brushing his face. "That was not the question nor was it my name. The question was, will you be able to sleep tonight?"

I nodded briskly. "Sir, I mean, Will, I will be fine. I have grown accustomed to little sleep and can function perfectly under duress. I will be fine tomorrow."

Will raised a calloused hand and cupped my cheek. "Maribel, I know that refrain. It's one I sang to myself, every night for the first 3 years I was aboard this ship. And again, seventeen years later, when I found the graves of my wife and son. This ship is not home, nor does it house those you care most about."

I let out a harsh laugh. "Sir, two of those I care about are aboard this miserable vessel with me. And at least one of them will be for eternity. No sir, it is not my loss I weep for. Tears are weakness." My voice grew bitter. "The family I love will survive my loss. They will cry and they curse the mission, the crew, the world. But they will survive. I cry for my men, for Carl's family, for Tyson- who wanted more than anything to serve his country with honor for a long time to come- and for my precious little girl, and my fiancé."

Confusion swept over the captain's face.

I began to feel the light prickling sensation that occurs before the tears come. "I think, with respect, that I have said quite enough for one evening. There should be about 3 and a half hours left 'til dawn. Goodnight, sir." I executed a swift about-face and retreated into the solace of my room. The door remained open, but I couldn't have cared less. I heard a soft click as the captain shut the door, but instead of returning to his quarters, he crossed the floor to stand behind me. I continued to stare out the porthole, intent on suppressing my urge to break down and cry into the comforting presence at my back.

A simple, gentle squeeze on my shoulder threatened my resolve. I gazed out at the waves, feeling the motion of the ship against them, remembering the way I tried to explain the waves and my job to my little girl. I began to see her face in the waves, her dark hair streaked with red flying in all directions with the foam off the sea, her dark eyes sparkling in the reflection of stars in the water. I smiled.

"Maribel?" A tug on my shoulder brought me back to reality. The captain, for the second time in an hour, brushed tears from my face. "Your little girl? You left that part out during our game. "

I turned to face him fully. "You asked about my family, I told you about some of my family. I didn't think it meant spilling all my secrets" I replied angrily.

He nodded. "You were right. I apologize. I suppose if I'd had a daughter of my own, I would be talking about her non-stop."

I smiled bitterly. "I wanted to keep her as separate from my job as possible. I don't take pride in all aspects of my job, and she should not be associated with that. I tried to keep Andy from that too…" I gave a hollow bark of laugher. "I suppose it doesn't matter now anyway."

"I suppose all sleep has been banished for the night. Perhaps you would like to talk about them?" Will's hand slipped down to my elbow, pulling me away from the porthole to sit on my bed. He sat next to me, holding my hand. His thumb absently traced circles on the back of my hand. He shook his head. "Of course you don't. But you should. It may make you feel better. Cutting yourself off from your daughter forever will cause more pain in the long run."

I looked up into his face and saw the same loss running through him. "You lost a child too." It wasn't a question.

He nodded. "I did. Except I was not the one who died. My wife and son were waiting for me. My honeymoon was one day long, the day after I was made captain. Ten years later, I returned to my wife to find her with our son. He was nine years old. He was a good kid, strong, happy, smart. Elizabeth took good care of him. After that year, she went out on her ship, _The Empress_, taking little 'By with her. That was his name, well, Weatherby. After her father. Weatherby William Turner. Called him "Bee". I saw them occasionally, often while picking up those who dared to defy the king of the pirate court, Elizabeth. In the end though, even the pirate king couldn't defeat the cough that killed her and 'By. As he got older, Elizabeth returned to the land, saying that the waters were getting dangerous for the last few pirates. The East India Trading Company was hanging all those thought to be pirates. A few attempts had already been made to capture the infamous _Empress_ and her captain. Elizabeth and I agreed that it would be safer to lie low for a while, so she and 'By went back to the house on the coast. Two years later, my day on the land came up and I went back to that coast, only to find their home abandoned and the graves of the only woman I had ever loved, and our only child. They were cared for and buried by a pair of mutual friends." The constant sorrow in his eyes seems to intensify. He looked into my eyes, and I offered a small, empathetic smile. "They had what is now called pneumonia. I just know that wherever they are now, they are safe, together, and healthy. But I would give anything just to see them one more time."

I nodded and rubbed his back. "I was twenty years old. I was a second year in university and a midshipman in the Navy Reserve Officer Training Corps. Every year, midwinter, there was a tri-service ball, in which all of the students from each branch were required to attend and socialize with the other branches. I was there, hanging out with a few of my navy friends when a few air force cadets came over to flirt. They were nice enough. Eventually we paired off to chat and the one I was talking with asked me if I thought another cadet was cute. I looked at the one he was pointing to, a tall redhead, who was really very cute. The cadet said that his friend had been watching me all night and thought I was cute. I went over to say hi, and we hit it off. He asked me to dinner, and the rest is history. We dated for two and a half years, at which point he proposed. We were both in the service by then, he being a year older than I. We agreed to remain engaged until we were discharged, at which point we would get married and start a family. We were both stationed in the Washington DC area and lived together. One of our mutual friends, the one who introduced us, actually, left his newborn daughter in our care when he was deployed. He and his girlfriend broke up during her pregnancy and she had no desire to have the child. She agreed as long as he would take care of it, and she would have no more involvement. While he was overseas, he was killed. In his will, he stated a wish for us to raise his daughter. So his little girl, Sari, became our little girl." I shook my head, trying to fight away the threatening tears.

"Andy was so happy to have her. She made him sparkle like nothing else. Throughout our deployments, we would make sure she was cared for, generally by either the one who wasn't deployed or by our families." I drew a shaky breath. "My assignments are never safe, but I always thought, as long as I have Sari and Andy to take care of, I will come home. Now my little girl's motherless twice over. She won't even remember me."

Will patted my hand. "Of course she will. Maybe not well, but she will always know about her father, and his wonderful friend who became her mum."

I nodded. "Andy was just discharged. I was to have only a few more missions before my own release from service. He was really looking forward to starting a real life for us. He just got hired as a commercial airline pilot for a major company. I was going to join a police force close to home." My eyes wandered toward the porthole, to see the sky slowly brightening. "I apologize, Will. We seem to have talked the night away."

He nodded. "Are you feeling any better?"

I smiled, wryly. "Are you?"

He stood and squeezed my shoulder. "I am, actually. First time in a long time. Thank you." He started towards the hatch leading into the head. "Just in case there are early risers, I don't want to harm your reputation."

I laughed. "It's been a long time since I worried about my reputation. I will see you in a few minutes."

With my mind and heart finally resting easier, I watched the handsome captain leave, ready to face the day and whatever strange happenings it might bring.

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So not a lot of action happens in this chapter but you get a bit more in terms of character. Also, for those of you so inclined, please send your good thoughts and wishes towards my friend Jonathan, who is in the hospital. And birthday wishes to Nayarra!


	18. A Lunchtime Reprieve

For Love of the Sea Chapter 18 17:13

A/N- This chapter is in fond and loving memory of my grandmother.

**Friends? **

The morning began quickly, everyone on board anxiously awaiting sunset. I shadowed Bootstrap for the majority of the morning, watching with fascination as the ship was cleaned and the ancient landing equipment shined and polished back into working order after decades of negligence. I was staring at the tremendous anchor hanging off of the side when I heard a voice call my name.

"Hey, LT, you still got that wetsuit of yours?"

I spun around quickly, smacking my already tender cheek into a hard object. When my head stopped ringing, I looked up to see Sgt. Gyps rubbing his shoulder and wincing. "Wow… you still have a really hard head!"

I grinned, glad of the company and familiar face. "You just have really big shoulders! Now, what was that about my wetsuit?"

He shrugged. "Captain Turner wanted to know if you still had it, so we could clean the port around the anchor. Apparently he wants to really impress whoever we're going to see."

"He said something about an 'old friend.'" I shrugged. "I'll go suit up."

I raced across the deck, only to be stopped by Bootstrap, who wrapped his hand around my upper arm. "Where are you going, running like the bow's on fire?"

I grinned. "Going to get my wetsuit to clean the anchor port with Mr. Gyps, sir!"

He laughed. "Don't run into anyone else or fall and break something, we can't afford a broken sailor. Understood?"

I nodded, practically bouncing to get back to a real job. The moment the restraining pressure on my arm disappeared, I jumped into the hatch, slid down the banister and straight into something warm and soft. I looked around and noticed I was held fast in the arms of Iosif Havelock, the businessman from the Greek fishing boat who had joined the ranks of guests on the _Dutchman_ just the day before. I blinked up at him, before raising an eyebrow. "Sir, would you mind putting me down, please?"

He flushed a bright red, his arms going slack. "I'm s-s-so s-s-s-sorry!" He stammered.

I dropped to the floor, twisting and landing on my feet, but also on one of his. He yelped and I jumped off his foot, glaring at the offended appendage.

"I didn't mean you had to drop me…"

He nodded tersely, before trying to walk past me to the stairs.

I held out my arm, stopping him. "Hey, I'm sorry, ok?"

He smiled tightly. "I understand. Now may I go?"

I raised an eyebrow. "Sir, you may wish to stay below deck for the time being. It is extremely busy up there right now, and you'll only be in the way."

He winced visibly, as though I had struck him. "I'm always in the way," he mumbled, bitterly.

I thought quickly, not enjoying the thought of a guaranteed failed suicide attempt and subsequent depressed passenger. An idea struck me suddenly, and I smiled. "Why don't you ask the captain if you can help? I have a great job for you I think."

He smiled, sheepishly. "I'd just get in your way."

"No! " I insisted. "I need someone to be on deck and watch the lifelines that Mr. Gyps and I will be using to hang over the side of the ship and clean the porthole around the anchor. I can't use another one of the crewmen because they're all off doing other tasks. And I don't particularly fancy floating around in the ocean until the captain decides to pick us up, seeing as we can't die. Think you're up to the task?"

Iosif looked at me, incredulously. "I will not be in the way? I can help?"

I nodded. "Knock on the captain's hatch and ask him first though. I have to change but I will meet you up there in a few minutes if the captain agrees."

I waved him off and moved to my cabin, eager to change and get started. I moved into the center of the room, glancing around to locate the wetsuit, only to realize I couldn't remember where I'd put it. I dug around the dresser, only to come up empty-handed.

I glared around the room, frustrated. After a deep breath, I stood up and went towards the door to the head, hoping that maybe a splash of cold water would help me remember.

I opened the door to find the captain, half dressed in a wetsuit, standing at the threshold, holding a large bundle. I blinked up at him, confused. "Sir?"

He held out the bundle. "Your wetsuit, lieutenant. See you on deck." He grinned and walked back into his quarters, pulling up the rest of the neoprene garment to cover his bare torso.

I laughed and shut the hatch, eager to get back in the water. Unfortunately, I had forgotten how irritating putting on a 5 millimeter wetsuit could be, struggling to put it on over the simple black bikini I'd found in the bureau. I pulled out my booties and slipped them onto my feet, zipping them up over the bottoms of the wetsuit to prevent the zippers from pressing into my ankles. I also pulled out my diving gloves from where I'd stashed them in the bedside table. Finally suited up, I grinned and raced down the p-way, up the stairs and onto the deck.

Iosif was waiting with Carl on the starboard bow, shifting uncomfortably from foot to foot. He gave me a hesitant half smile as he stepped back to allow me through.

I smiled. "Well gentlemen, ready to get some work done?" Walking around the men to tie lifelines to the forward mast, I caught sight of another figure approaching. "Captain Turner," I called, "Going for a swim?"

The captain smiled playfully. "Couldn't let you get all the fun, could I?" He moved to check my knots, leaning in close. "You alright, 'Bel?"

A surge of indignant anger raced through me. How dare he assume that I was in danger of becoming an emotional mess simply because I shared some of my past with him? I glared before shoving him out of the way and bringing the free rope ends to the railing. "Thank you for your concern Sir, I'm fine." I dropped one of the ends, wrapping the other one around my waist and knotting it tightly. Grabbing an extra rag and creating a sling to hold the bucket of soapy water, I slung myself over the side, coming to rest at the level of the porthole. I began scrubbing ferociously, taking out my anger at showing weakness to the skipper on the rust coated anchor chain. A body jerked to a halt opposite me.

A large hand covered my smaller ones and stopped my angry scrubbing. "I offended you. And you'll hurt your elbows, pressing that hard." The captain carefully rearranged the rag in my hands, then guided them into a quick pattern. "Press firmly but not too hard. If you start feeling sore in your shoulders, you're doing it right. If your whole back hurts, you're not."

I nodded tersely. "Where is Carl? I thought he was working with me."

Captain Will nodded. "He was. I wanted him to learn more about the navigational procedures and this will go a lot faster if one of us is experienced."

My eyes narrowed but I bit back the urge to glare at him and continued scrubbing.

"Uh… I didn't mean to offend you, you know. I just wanted to make sure. You didn't really sleep and confiding in someone can be hard. If you work yourself to sickness, you're no good to anyone." He rambled.

I stopped rubbing the anchor port and looked at him. Our eyes met, and I gave a curt nod, not ready to voice my conflicting feelings. I knew the rambling speech was meant as an apology, but my pride wasn't yet ready to forgive the misguided care he'd shown. I had been able to care for myself for twenty-eight years and one late night emotional collapse hardly merited a pat on the head, let alone the coddling the captain seemed prone to showing me. I brought my rag back up, only to see that the area I had been working on was clear of rust. I blinked in confusion.

"Your anger is rather impressive, Maribel." The captain smiled softly. "Am I forgiven?"

I nodded briskly. "Of course sir. I simply do not like being treated as a child. I am perfectly capable of separating my emotional state from my work." I leaned over towards his side of the porthole and attacked the rust. He laughed and swung over to make room.

"That was not my intention." He whispered. "I simply wanted to acknowledge how difficult this is, and you are not alone in feeling anger or sorrow or loss. Especially over a child." He paused. "Everyone aboard this ship has felt this pain, is still feeling it. It will fade, but it never goes away. Just know that, should you require, there are those among us who are more than willing to listen and provide what comfort we can. Alright?"

I closed my eyes, swallowed, then nodded. "Yes, sir. Thank you. I am not a child and have had to prove my worth multiple times due to my lack of a penis. I do not appreciate being treated as if I will shatter simply because I lack an appendage."

My eyes reopened just in time to catch his jaw drop. I then realized exactly what I'd said and blushed. "Sorry for my lack of tact, sir."

He burst into a loud bark of laughter. "You are a very unique woman, 'Bel."

I grinned, happy the tension from earlier was finally beginning to dissipate. "And don't you forget it. Does the anchor port meet with your approval?"

He looked it over, before nodded. "I believe we are done. And just in time for lunch. You think your man up there can haul us up?"

I cocked my head. "My ma… oh! Iosif! I'm not sure," I tucked the scrubbing rag into the rope at my waist, "but I'll race you!" I scrambled, hand over hand up the rope, hauling myself over the bulkhead just in time to see Will vault over it, landing on his feet while I flopped to the deck. "No fair!" I pouted, before accepting his hand.

Will tugged and I flew off of the deck into his arms. He smiled down at me and squeezed quickly, before releasing me and turning to Iosif. "Thank you for your help, Mr. Havelock. It was invaluable."

Iosif smiled and nodded. "You're welcome, Captain." He turned and smiled briefly at me before heading back to the passenger quarters.

"Captain!" Bootstrap's voice rang out and echoed across the deck. "We're coming up on the river."

Will's head shot to the coastline, where he studied the break in the trees intently for a bit before glancing back at his father. "Thank you Mr. Turner. Please inform the crew that lunch is being served in the galley. The lieutenant and I will finish up here and keep watch. Please bring two plates from the galley when you have a moment."

Bootstrap winked at Will before nodding. "Aye sir." He cupped his hands around his mouth and shouted, "Hey! You lot! Chow time!"

The deck exploded into a flurry of activity as the entire crew raced to be the first one in line for food. Gyps flew to the front, only to be shoved out of the way by Benjamin.

I laughed and untied my lifeline. I coiled it back to the mast where it was anchored and removed it. I also untied Will's, working backward toward him while winding the rope around my arm. I tugged, laughing as he stumbled.

He moved toward me while winding the rope around his own arm. His eyes sparkled and lit up his face. I noticed his arm tensing, preparing to pull against me, and flicked my wrist, releasing the rope coil just as his leaned back to throw his weight against the formerly taut line. Will tried to counter his loss of balance, flapping his arms wildly. One of his outstretched hands caught mine as I tried to protect my face. He fell, and I landed directly on top of him. "Ow!" He gasped.

I moved my head from where it landed on his chest and look down at him. When my brain decided to regain function, I blushed and braced my arms on either side of his head, preparing to get up. "I'm sorry, sir." I mumbled.

His hand moved from his side to brush a rebellious strand of hair out of my face, and his by extension.

A throat cleared, and my head jerked in the direction of the sound just as Will's head shot up in the same direction. Our heads hit and we both reeled back, groaning. I squinted in the direction of the interrupting sound to find Bootstrap standing over us, holding two full plates. "I'll just leave these here then, sir?"

Will nodded. "Yes please, Mr. Turner."

Bootstrap smiled. "Jus' a thought, Cap'n. If you don't want the crew to talk, I suggest moving to your cabin."

Will rolled his eyes. "I appreciate the suggestion but it is unnecessary. The lieutenant and I were just packing in the line from earlier and we tripped."

"Right." Bootstrap nodded, knowingly. "Of course, Cap'n. Enjoy lunch." He touched his forehead with two fingers in a brief salute before walking back down the deck, an amused smirk etched onto his roughened features.

I realized we still hadn't moved and shot up. "My apologies, sir." I moved to the two dishes Bootstrap had brought from the galley. Will was right behind me and we dug in, hungrily.

After a few minutes silence, I looked over at my companion, who was staring out to sea. "Captain?"

He started visibly, before relaxing. "Hmmm?"

"Are you alright, sir?" I asked, hesitantly.

He smiled, briefly and sadly, before nodding. "I'm fine, 'Bel. Just a bit nostalgic, that's all. But you don't want to hear about the reminiscences of a lonely old man. The world has changed so much, you know?"

I laughed. "It most certainly has. But if it hadn't, we might not be as we are, yes? And, I suppose, I rather like who I am, well, was, while alive."

He shrugged. "That is a new way of looking at it, I guess." He stopped short, listening as the din from below decks began to migrate back towards the stairs. "I believe that's our cue."

And just like that, our lunchtime reprieve was over.


	19. A Journey Upriver

A hushed energy filled the ship. She was pulling ever closer to shore and the crew's unrest did little to reassure the guests, who had gathered on deck to watch.

I held my breath, standing on the far side of the ship from the shore. I watched as the crew grew quiet, performing their tasks quickly with none of the usual banter.

A throat clearing behind me shook me out of my observations. The captain stood behind me, gazing out across the ship to the little strip of land growing larger with each minute. He smiled. "Are you alright, 'Bel?"

I swallowed. "Of course, sir... Will. Who is this old friend, if I may inquire?" I blanched when his face tightened subtly. Clearly that was a bad question to ask… "I was just curious, sir. It's none of my concern."

Will shook his head. He stared out at the landscape for a long moment, making me wonder if he was angry with my question. Finally, still lost in the coastline in the distance, he spoke. "Tia Dalma. She is the human form of the goddess Calypso. It was she who charged the captain of the Dutchman with his duty to collect the souls of those lost at sea." He blinked and looked at me. "Don't mind her mumblings, she speaks in riddles and most of it is rambling anyway."

He moved away then, heading towards the stern to take command and guide the ship into the small harbor that had materialized out of the dark blob that was the shore.

I watched him go, overwhelming feelings of sympathy for the skipper nearly bowling me over. He deserves a break, I thought. I wish I could repay him for all his kindness… maybe this Tia Dalma woman can help…

GONAVYBEATARMY~GONAVYBEATARMY~GONAVYBEATARMY~GONAVYBEATARMY~GONAVYBEATARMY

The shadows were deepening as we finally pulled into harbor, docking just as the sun set in a flash of… green? My confusion must have shown since Mr. Gibbs from earlier appeared at my side with a grin. "Never seen a green flash before, Miss Knowles?"

I shook my head. "No… should I have?"

He looked side to side, before leaning in close, a bit too close. "The green flash is only seen when someone returns to the world from the dead," he whispered dramatically.

"Returns from the dead?" I questioned. "Does that mean we're all alive now?" I felt my wrist for a pulse.

"Well, no." Gibbs's face wrinkled up. "It means that we are in the world of the living now, so technically they could see us if they knew where to look."

I digested this information slowly, reflectively. I was so deep in thought that I didn't hear my name until SGT Gyps placed a hand on my shoulder.

"You alright, ma'am? Captain has requested we join him in the dinghy to go ashore." He looked down at me with kind eyes. "Maybe this old friend of his can help us out, right?"

I smiled. "One can hope." We started to move towards the small landing party assembling amidships. "Also, Carl, it's 'Bel."

He nodded before stepping into the cluster of sailors preparing to go ashore. The captain was there, along with Gibbs, Benjamin, Carl, and myself. We shuffled towards the tiny boat hanging beside the Dutchman. After the last of our motley band had clambered into the craft, we lowered the vessel into the water and struck towards shore.

The rowing wasn't bad, and quickly the sheltered harbor narrowed into a river choked with vines, tall grasses, and mysterious flickering lights too large to be fireflies and too inconsistent to be candles. The lights seemed to be guiding us, and were accompanied by soft voices chanting in a language I had never heard before.

After what seemed like an eternity in the mist-shrouded river, the captain motioned for us to stop rowing. He took one of the oars and guided the dinghy to a rotting wooden pier on the starboard riverbank. A crumbling set of wooden stairs led to a cabin perched in the branches of an ancient tree.. The cabin looked as though the slightest breeze would cause it to collapse in a tangle of decaying boards and spider-webbed windows.

As I stared at the eerie sight before me, I thought I caught a glimpse of movement in one of the windows high in the tree-house structure. Will followed my line of vision to the dark, candle-lit abode. "She's waiting," he whispered. "She knows."

I cocked my head, trying to find my footing in a world so foreign to me. "Knows what?" I whispered back, praying I didn't sound too naïve.

Will leapt almost silently from the boat to the pier, hauling one of its mooring lines with him. He tugged, and the tiny craft jerked forward into the pier, jostling everyone out of the layer of silent trepidation that had settled during the journey. He looped the rope easily over one of the pylons, securing it for the rest of us to come ashore.

I stood carefully, trying not to wobble as I disembarked the dinghy to the putrid berth. The captain held out his hand, which I grasped gratefully. My feet slipped along the decaying planks and sank a few inches into them. I struggled to hold back a grimace as the soft wood threatened to envelop my feet.

Carl followed us, moving swiftly off of the pier to the solid, if swampy, ground on the riverbank. He whirled around in time to see the last of our party, Mr. Gibbs, slip while climbing onto the slick wood, grabbing Benjamin with him and toppling into the murky water.

They surfaced with a splutter, Gibbs trying to climb onto Benjamin's shoulders while screeching for help. "Save me! I can't swim! I'm gonna die! It's a curse! This place is cursed! We're all gonna d-"

A large hand clasped itself over his mouth. "Quiet, grandpa! You'll get us all sent to the locker." Benjamin hissed, wading towards shore, toting Gibbs along with him. Will crossed to the edge of the river and hauled them out.

As the dripping duo crawled up the muddy shoreline, a loud bang echoed through the still air. "William Turner, you know betta than to keep a woman waiting" A resonant female voice reprimanded, gently.

I looked up to see the owner of the voice standing in the doorway, illuminated by flickering candles and moonlight. She was roughly 5'5, and slender. She held out an arm, beckoning our small party upwards, into the cabin in the trees. "Please, come in."

A/N- Hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoy writing it. Also, please take a couple minutes to R/R. Constructive criticism welcome! Flames will be ignored. ~ Arda's Angel


	20. A Broken Heart

**Chapter 20- A Broken Heart**

We climbed up the moist, creaking stairs one by one, with Will leading the way. He directed the group across the warped threshold into a warm, cluttered cabin. The inside was surprisingly dry, with almost no hint of the decay so prominent on the façade.

The owner of the cabin stood by an ancient wooden table. She was slender and dark, wearing a ripped pink gown, probably from the 18th century or so. She smiled, revealing blackened, but straight, teeth. "Welcome, to me home." She gestured to the chairs surrounding the table. "Please, have a seat."

I stepped gingerly around a large glass jar filled with what looked like dirt, to take a seat close to the door. Carl sat next to me, and Gibbs next to him. The captain sat at the head of the table, to the dark woman's right hand. Benjamin stood behind Will, edging closer and closer to the door, to "watch the boat," as he put it.

The woman, Tia Dalma I guessed, smiled at us. "Now, William Turner, what is it brings you to me home?" She cocked her head in his direction. "Me little Dutchman wants out, do he?"

Will looked straight at the woman. "I do."

Tia Dalma leaned back in her chair and folded her arms. "No. De _Dutchman_ must have a captain, and you be de right man for her. What be wrong, pretty Will? Ye be lonely? Ye have yer crew, yer father. Ye have Calypso's blessings. What more could ye want?"

His face tightened, almost imperceptibly. "Of course, Calypso." He blinked, and for a moment, I could swear I saw tears in his eyes. He blinked again and they were gone. I reached out to put a friendly hand on his shoulder, but Calypso shot me a warning glare from khol-lined eyes.

"Now, perhaps ye be missing yer past, no? So I be bringing an old friend t'join yer crew. Don't ye be worried, de sea loves her captain. Ye may move from de table if ye want, but do not touch!" She concluded the little meeting.

I took that as a cue to let my attention wander from her conversation with Will and observe the room around us. It was packed with bottles, jars, cages, and various oddities, containing even stranger things. A parrot was clinging to one of the rafters while a python wound itself around the railing guarding a decrepit staircase. A monkey was moving stealthily across the ceiling. When it reached a spot above the table, it jumped and landed on Tia Dalma's shoulder.

Will saw the monkey and startled. "No. He will not be aboard my ship. I forbid it."

She grinned. "Barbossa not be joinin' ye crew. Jack, the monkey, I give to yer woman. 'Im being a nuisance around here. Take 'im." She gestured towards me.

I jumped a bit. "Me? But, ma'am, I wouldn't know what to do with a monkey."

Tia Dalma grinned. "Walk with me, Maribel Knowles." She stood and stepped around Will towards a doorway, curtained by strings of shells and unidentifiable bones.

I followed her out into a smaller room, with a winding staircase in one corner. "Ma'am?" I called.

She smiled and motioned me over to a cluttered table. "Da captain, him need to heal him heart. De Dutchman must have a captain, but he don't have to be heartless."

I cocked my head. "He doesn't need to have his heart in the chest? Then why was it cut out when he became the Dutchman?

"Him heart was already damaged. It was not worth saving him wit a damaged heart." She shrugged.

I thought this over for a minute. _Why was she telling me this? There must be a reason. _"Ma'am? Won't his heart always be damaged? Why now? Why after it was wounded did you not tell him how to fix it?"

She seemed to grow until she towered over me. "Do not question me ways, girl. Him heart was beyond help when him became captain. No. I did not tell him how to fix it because there was no way for him to fix it then." Her eyes found mine, seemingly trying to convey something I couldn't quite decipher.

After a moment, she returned to the familiar form of Tia Dalma. "Take de monkey and go. I will give William de coordinates to find him friend."

I nodded, already making up my mind to find a way to help the man who had been so kind to me during my first few days among the dead.

As I turned to rejoin the landing party, Tia Dalma/Calypso reached out and touched my shoulder. "Heal him heart, and I will help you get where you need to go."

"I'm sorry..? Where I need to go? Ma'am?" I stuttered, confused.

She simply crossed the room and pulled aside the shell and bone curtain. "Do we have a deal, Maribel Knowles?"

I met her gaze as I reached the doorway. "We do."

I stepped back into the other room to find the men staring at the doorway, then looking hurriedly away as if ashamed to have been caught.

They were scattered around the room, with Carl examining something floating in a jar suspended from the rafter, Benjamin maintaining his post by the door, Gibbs loitering near the room Tia Dalma and I had just vacated, and Will nowhere in sight.

Tia Dalma grinned at me. "It's so nice to talk wit another woman once in a while. Captain Turner?" She looked around the room.

I wandered to the main door and looked out. Will was perched on one of the lower steps, looking out at the floating candles and flickering fireflies. I moved down the steps and gently touched his shoulder.

He jumped, before glancing up at me. "Oh, 'Bel. Is everything alright?"

I nodded. "Are you alright? Tia Dalma is looking for you."

He got to his feet, pressing his palm into my shoulder as he climbed past me to reenter the cabin. "Thank you."

As I watched him, I wondered what had caused him such pain that his heart wasn't worth saving along with the rest of him, and just how such a wound could be healed.

I then took his seat on the creaking, mossy stair. _I wish Andy and Sari could see this. They'd love it. _I pictured Sari's bright brown eyes, so curious and smart as she observed the world around her. And Andy's smile when she reached out to explore whatever it was she was interested in. I smiled, wistfully. _Those fireflies better watch out when she starts walking. _

A noise from the cabin startled me from my thoughts. I stood up to see the crew piling out of the cabin. The monkey was perched firmly on Will's shoulder, much to his chagrin.

I met them on the stairs and fell into step beside Will. "Where to now, Skipper?" I asked.

Will glanced at a battered compass in his hand. "We have one more stop to make before this day is up. During our voyage, LT, please secure all of the rum."

* * *

A/N- Happy New Year everyone! Hope you like it. Please R/R if you have a moment. ~Arda's Angel


	21. Securing the Rum

For Love of the Sea Chap 21 01/09/2011

"Secure the rum?" The strange command echoed in my head as we slipped down the slick, mossy stairs back to our boat.

The ride back was silent, each crewman lost in his thoughts, with Will's silence covering the rest in a deafening, dark, oppressive gloom. Jack the Monkey who had perched on my shoulder for the walk to the dinghy had curled up in my lap, where I was absent-mindedly stroking the soft fur on his back. My mind drew me away from the dinghy and the dank swamp filled with ghost lights back to my conversation with the strange Tia Dalma. No matter how I approached the encounter, I couldn't shake the feeling of trepidation at some crucial point I was missing from the discussion. The more I thought about it, the more it bothered me.

A sound _thunk_ when the side of the dinghy hit the hull of the _Dutchman_ roused me from my thoughts. I stood, ignoring a whine of protest from Jack as he scampered up my side, launched himself off my head and onto the waiting ladder. He screeched once, before disappearing over the side and onto the deck. I followed.

Once aboard, each man made short work of vanishing below, leaving me alone with Will. I glanced up at the crow's nest just in time to see a head pull back over the side and disappear into the darkness.

"Get some sleep." Will's voice jolted me out of my hazy state. "The sun rises early out here." He turned towards the companionway, effectively dismissing me.

"Sir," I called, hurrying after him.

"Yes, Lieutenant?" He asked, one foot on the stair, his silhouette perfectly outlined in the dim light from deep within the hull.

I stopped, realizing I had no idea what I wanted to say. "Goodnight, sir." I ended, lamely.

A ghost of a smile flickered across his profile. "And you, Lieutenant."

I watched him withdraw into the ship, a wolf seeking the shelter and safety of its den. My heart went out to the Skipper, his only request to Calypso denied after centuries in her service.

I turned away, finding myself drawn portside, to perch on the rail and gaze out at the sea, lit with moonlight and gently rocking to her own rhythm.

A throat cleared behind me. I started and whipped around to see Bootstrap peering down at me. "Something on your mind, Bel?"

I turned back to the sea. "I don't know, Bootstrap. Everything made sense, well, until I died" I mumbled. "I don't get it. Calypso makes my head hurt… I don't know what I'm doing anymore. And on top of figuring out what I'm supposed to do, I have to figure out how to fix the giant gaping hole in Will's heart too?" I realized I was ranting and stopped short. "I apologize. That was unprofessional of me." I locked my face into the regulatory expression and nodded at him. "Goodnight, Bootstrap."

I turned to go but a hand on my shoulder spun me back around. "Look out there. What do you see?"

I shrugged. "The sea?" I picked at the railing with a fingernail.

"Out there, on here, it's the same. Freedom. I know it doesn't feel like it, but you can do anything, be anything, out here. If Calypso thinks you can heal Will's heart, you can. You will. And I will do everything I can to help you. He's a good man, but he won't let me close enough to help him. Maybe you'll have better luck. 'Night Bel." And with a quick nod in my direction, he vanished below deck.

I took a deep breath as I stared out at the sea. "Freedom, huh?" I laughed quickly, mirthlessly. My mind wandered back to my family and that of my crew, left to mourn our passing with only a folded flag and a few photos for comfort. "Some freedom." I glanced up at the stars as I turned towards the open hatch. "Goodnight, Sari. Mommy loves you." And as my feet led me down towards my bunk, a tiny voice on the wind whispered back "Wuv ma-ma"

GO NAVY BEAT ARMY GO NAVY BEAT ARMY GO NAVY BEAT ARMY

I woke to the sound of a bell, as the boatswain announced the coming dawn. I stood quickly and glanced out at the dark water through the porthole as I contemplated the previous night. The water seemed a living entity, singing its siren song, tempting the unwary and the bold with promises of freedom. As I shook myself from those thoughts and pulled on a pair of loose pants and slim tunic from the drawers, I could have sworn I saw a dark face with laughing eyes, Calypso's eyes, flashing in the waves.

I blinked, and the spectral image was gone. Climbing to the deck, I found Bootstrap standing beside the Captain behind the massive wheel.

As I approached, he turned and smiled. "Today, you learn how we find our crew and passengers. Stay close." He strode to the railing and called to all hands. "New passenger pickup. Loose everything, get us turned windward."

The crew scurried up the masts, loosing the scales and letting the sails unfurl into the early morning glow. As the sun rose over the clear water, the ship sank beneath the waves in a flash of green.

I watched as the wind picked up and the water caught in the sails. Bootstrap handed me a lifeline, which I knotted tightly around my waist. The current picked up and caught in the sails, pulling the ancient ship through the water I blinked as the water streamed past my eyes. As I adjusted, I noticed that while Bootstrap and the Captain were standing behind the wheel, neither one was actively steering.

"Calypso" Will commented, noticing my confusion. "Did you lock up the rum, 'Bel?"

"I will immediately, sir." I saluted and moved towards the hatch and untied my lifeline before descending into the hold. I picked my way to the galley supply room and felt my eyes widen at the vast stores of rum tucked in with the other foods and supplies. I grabbed the nearest bottle and looked around for a place to store it. As I glanced around, I noticed a small closet at the back of the storeroom. I opened it and found keg after keg of rum. Shrugging, I grabbed as many bottles as I could carry and placed them in the room, repeating this until all of the bottles were stored with the kegs. As I tucked the last one away, the ship started to rise. Closing the door quickly and pulling a sack of rice over to hold it shut, I raced back up to the main deck just in time to see a raft with a lone figure on it come into view.

Will's dark eyes glanced over at me as I rejoined the rest of the crew on deck. "Is it secure?" He asked, tension in every line of his face and running through his body.

I stepped closer to him and nodded briefly. "Sir, yes sir."

A slight quirk in the left corner of his mouth acknowledged me. "Thank you, lieutenant." His eyes never left the raft as the ship pulled up along side it.

The man on it was thin, with dark hair peppered with dreadlocks and dark, khol lined eyes that peered up at the _Dutchman_ with interest. "Welp! So glad ye came to me rescue. Took ye long enough by my reckonin'."

A wary smile flickered across Will's face. "Jack, welcome to the _Flying Dutchman._"

GO NAVY BEAT ARMY GO NAVY BEAT ARMY GO NAVY BEAT ARMY

So a huge thank you goes out to everyone who is still reading this, especially bonniebeast for dragging me out of my RL and writer's block slump and back to this story. Hopefully, this will keep going now, I am not abandoning this. Thank you, and as always, reviews are appreciated.

Your obedient servant,

Arda's Angel


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